I need a coach

After my divorce I noticed that I was spending a great deal of time online looking at cocks. After awhile I started wondering and fantasizing about what it would be like to stroke and suck another man's cock. These days there are times when I'm masturbating that I fantasize about sucking a cock and it makes for some amazing orgasms. I know there are literally hundreds of men out there that would jump at the chance to get their cock sucked, but these are the quick "blow and go" guys. I want someone that safe, isn't a "slut" and is willing to nurse me along slowly through my fears and apprehensions. I'd like to start out openly discussing my desires and fantasies face to face. Then maybe discussing things face to face in the nude and possibly masturbating together. Then trading handjobs. then ultimately trading blowjobs. I really need to find someone who is very patient, but who knows after the first meeting, or even during the first meeting I might just decide to go for it and "rip the band aid of quickly" as the saying goes!!!