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Coming Out can be shit, even if the person you're coming out to is supportive.

I mentioned in a previous post how my mum found out that I'm bisexual, but I didn't talk much about the aftermath. As far as she knows, there wasn't any. But for me, there were definitely repercussions of her having that knowledge. Until the day she found out, and since, I've heard so many people talk about how they felt liberated when they came out. How they felt happier, how they felt like a weight had been lifted.

Good for them.

I felt exposed. I felt like I had opened up my borders and let myself be invaded. It didn't matter that she was fine with it, I felt like that part of me was exposed in a very uncomfortable way. I have no problem with my sexuality; I love loving boys, and I love loving girls. But still, I felt immensely uncomfortable about my mum finding out.

I'm still not entirely sure why. I have spent hours on end trying to justify that feeling to myself, and I can find no rational explanation. I can't even find an irrational explanation. It just made me uncomfortable.

Which was all the more weird when I mentioned my sexuality while talking to people from my school, because after that I neither had a positive nor a negative feeling towards that knowledge getting out.

I guess it's easier to be yourself with people you don't know very well.
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Thank you for sharing. I don't know exactly what to say. But the chances are that if you at least feel this way, then there are probably others who do too. You might not find your answer soon, but it would seem reasonable that you have already found it.