I have a question

So recently I encountered a gender fluid person while I was out and about. I thought this person was female based on appearance but doesn’t identify as female. I called them ma’ am ( as this was an individual who looked to be maybe 50s or 60s out of respectful habitual form of address) they told in a kind way they actually didn’t identify as female but were actually genderfluid or genderqueer. I was a little confused and Honestly kind of annnoyed and asked them then what forms of address did they go by? Usually I see this with very young people today but no one this much older than me. How do you navigate these new gender identities gracefully and without messing it up? Should I just take gender specific language out of my interactions with people? You know like ma’ am or sir, mister or misses/ms. I felt so awkward because I misgendered someone but have no way of knowing how someone identifies or what they like to be called before getting to know them. Also asking people for the most part how they identify and what are their pronouns forms of address is just awkward because it puts people on the spot and most people will look at you funny or get insulted if you ask. How do you navigate these more inclusive gender identities?