Kinda homophobic experienced
I don't really use this app often so this is just my second post even though I have an account for a half year. English is not my first language and my grammar isn't that bad but it's late and I don't think of grammar at night. In my first post I told the story of how I fell in love with mybest friend when I was in 6 grade. I want to talk about things that happnd to me but I haven't REALLY talked in detail about. In my live I never really had homophobic experiences but it get close too that. One day we had a bioligy lesson and I very happy finding out were talking about lbtq topics because I was really intrestet in that. We only did one worksheet and we didn't even talked about it but anyway that is not important for the story. While the lesson was going on I heard that whenever someone were very good in answering the questions on the worksheet they get the response. Why do you know that your gay or something? And that triggered me a bit but I thoight it sould be funny to say when someone asked me: No but I'm bi. So one boy was confused about a question I will shorten him with R and I helped him and he asked me: Ho do you know that are you a lesbian or something?
I didn't even think before I responsed that I'm BI. When I realised I just said it I wanted to disappear my god was I emberassed that I just randomly outet myself to a boy I didn't even like. He was very supprised. I turned back to my worksheet when 1 minute later a friend of R I will shorten him with Ln stand up and shoutet from the over side of the classroom: Hey [my name] is it true you're a lesbian? And by god that is by far the most emberassing thing everhappend to me. A few years later a few of my class mates remembered that I screamed it trough the classroom and asked me why I'd ever do that. But in this situation I had no idea what to do. I thought that I don't wanna lie of my sexuality because I wasn't hiding it but I dont wanna out myself. I still said: No I said I was Bi.
And then Ln lookedat me vry cinfused and I had toxplain it to him loudly. I was so emberassed. When we had break Ln, R and a friend of them I will call J came to me asked how I found out I was Bi.
I said respectfully that I don't wanna talk about it. And that it would be nice of them to go away. Then J aksed me if I had a crush on one of my friends. Though thatis true I said no and that I don't wanna talk about it and set my boundaries. Then they start naming every single oje of my friends and asked me if I had a crush oj them and I said no. Then they named the girl I acutally had feelings for not like a crush she was my bestfriend if anyone read the postbefire we were best friends but after I told her it's a longer story but we weren't really friends at this point we could talk again without it being akward and we were good classmates but they still named her and every really depressing event happend in the last period of time there I was 11 at this moment came back to me and I jsut said again no and I would love if they could just go away from me. The next day in a break they came to me and said: You know Z (the girl I had feelings for) just outet herself as a lesbian." I donkt remember if I believed them but I know that just for a second I believed what they say but I just responded with: Okay? Good for her. What do you ant from me.
But it was soemberassing because I know they knew I had feelings for her. And I was hurt by thst. Later J came to me and said h was sorry for what he and his friend said earlier and I appreciate it. But I still knew that they thought it was funny and intresting to look what happen if they could bring me to ask her out. And they didn't respect my boundaries and made jokes about it because yeah it was funny they did a little morethins that I don't remember sadly. Then one week bfore summer holidays I had PE Z and I couldn't participate so we just sat at the side on benches. We talked about random stuff and I was happy but then these boys came by and R asked: Are you together now?" And this was agaij so frickin emberassing. We both said no at the same time. But then Z added something she said:" J why did you told the other 2 I only told about (my names) feelings because you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"
J:" Well do you th7nk I would?" I don't know how I stayed calm. To clarify these boys there is another one but he is not important for this sotry these 4 boys made fun of her me and many other kids in my class not like bullying but really no one of us liked them and she just told J my feelings about her. I wasn't even angry at this moment because Idk I couodnt get angry with her no matter what. They talked about something I didn't lissend. Then she said: Well she doesn't have feelings for me now... right?" Fun fact I had feelings for her now and I knew she just started talking ti me again because she thought I didn't had. But would should I say in this situation other than No. I said no and the boys were bored and walked away. I wanted to go away and don't talk to anyone but Z started talking to me again she said she was sorry how she treated me bsck than I said it was fine but the reason I was remembered by it a few weeks ago my 9th school year started I am 14 now and I am not in a class with these boy for 3 years but I have one subject with one of these and I just did my tasked when Ln asked me out of the blue: Hey you still have this crush on Z? And I felt my heart dropping down. I really quiet said no but he didn't hear it so he just asked again louder so that it is possible that a completly stranger (a boy who I never spoked to in my intire live but he is in the same what is the word sorry grade as me) knows I had feelings for a girl. I quietly said no again he didn't hear it and was annoyed but said, huh so you dont wanna talk about it? I said no and felt the same emberassement I had 3 years ago so thank you a lot for reading this. I don't know why I postet this I know it isn't anything like over experiences people made but I am intrested what people say to this
I didn't even think before I responsed that I'm BI. When I realised I just said it I wanted to disappear my god was I emberassed that I just randomly outet myself to a boy I didn't even like. He was very supprised. I turned back to my worksheet when 1 minute later a friend of R I will shorten him with Ln stand up and shoutet from the over side of the classroom: Hey [my name] is it true you're a lesbian? And by god that is by far the most emberassing thing everhappend to me. A few years later a few of my class mates remembered that I screamed it trough the classroom and asked me why I'd ever do that. But in this situation I had no idea what to do. I thought that I don't wanna lie of my sexuality because I wasn't hiding it but I dont wanna out myself. I still said: No I said I was Bi.
And then Ln lookedat me vry cinfused and I had toxplain it to him loudly. I was so emberassed. When we had break Ln, R and a friend of them I will call J came to me asked how I found out I was Bi.
I said respectfully that I don't wanna talk about it. And that it would be nice of them to go away. Then J aksed me if I had a crush on one of my friends. Though thatis true I said no and that I don't wanna talk about it and set my boundaries. Then they start naming every single oje of my friends and asked me if I had a crush oj them and I said no. Then they named the girl I acutally had feelings for not like a crush she was my bestfriend if anyone read the postbefire we were best friends but after I told her it's a longer story but we weren't really friends at this point we could talk again without it being akward and we were good classmates but they still named her and every really depressing event happend in the last period of time there I was 11 at this moment came back to me and I jsut said again no and I would love if they could just go away from me. The next day in a break they came to me and said: You know Z (the girl I had feelings for) just outet herself as a lesbian." I donkt remember if I believed them but I know that just for a second I believed what they say but I just responded with: Okay? Good for her. What do you ant from me.
But it was soemberassing because I know they knew I had feelings for her. And I was hurt by thst. Later J came to me and said h was sorry for what he and his friend said earlier and I appreciate it. But I still knew that they thought it was funny and intresting to look what happen if they could bring me to ask her out. And they didn't respect my boundaries and made jokes about it because yeah it was funny they did a little morethins that I don't remember sadly. Then one week bfore summer holidays I had PE Z and I couldn't participate so we just sat at the side on benches. We talked about random stuff and I was happy but then these boys came by and R asked: Are you together now?" And this was agaij so frickin emberassing. We both said no at the same time. But then Z added something she said:" J why did you told the other 2 I only told about (my names) feelings because you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"
J:" Well do you th7nk I would?" I don't know how I stayed calm. To clarify these boys there is another one but he is not important for this sotry these 4 boys made fun of her me and many other kids in my class not like bullying but really no one of us liked them and she just told J my feelings about her. I wasn't even angry at this moment because Idk I couodnt get angry with her no matter what. They talked about something I didn't lissend. Then she said: Well she doesn't have feelings for me now... right?" Fun fact I had feelings for her now and I knew she just started talking ti me again because she thought I didn't had. But would should I say in this situation other than No. I said no and the boys were bored and walked away. I wanted to go away and don't talk to anyone but Z started talking to me again she said she was sorry how she treated me bsck than I said it was fine but the reason I was remembered by it a few weeks ago my 9th school year started I am 14 now and I am not in a class with these boy for 3 years but I have one subject with one of these and I just did my tasked when Ln asked me out of the blue: Hey you still have this crush on Z? And I felt my heart dropping down. I really quiet said no but he didn't hear it so he just asked again louder so that it is possible that a completly stranger (a boy who I never spoked to in my intire live but he is in the same what is the word sorry grade as me) knows I had feelings for a girl. I quietly said no again he didn't hear it and was annoyed but said, huh so you dont wanna talk about it? I said no and felt the same emberassement I had 3 years ago so thank you a lot for reading this. I don't know why I postet this I know it isn't anything like over experiences people made but I am intrested what people say to this
18-21
