Random sad thoughts

It’s been a year or more and I’ve really worked on myself been going to the gym for 2 years haven’t been in a relationship in awhile .im living alone again always lived on my own it’s been 4 months in my new place im happy with it . Im making really good money I am happy about that . I’m fine with being alone sometimes I’ll go out do stuff by myself I’ll have fun or I’ll spoil myself . Do a lot of self love stuff . I’ve been trying to put myself out there dating sites , etc it just seems it’s harder nowadays to get into a lesbian relationship then it was when I was 23 -24 . Everyone keeps telling me get with a guy try it out but I’m not happy with men I need a emotional connection and men don’t give me butterflies (unless they are Harry styles and his a fem man ) I just feel really lonely . It’s like if I do talk to a girl it’s always one sided convo i try to get to know them and it’s like aren’t u going to ask me a question back? I shouldn’t have to force you to try to get to know me it should be natural . Everyone tells me if you worked on yourself more you would be fine with being alone . But I am fine I think it’s valid to feel lonely once and awhile to want to share your time with someone . Am I just unloveable ? I don’t have toxic traits about myself I’m really good at communicating I love with my whole heart when I get into a relationship I tend to put people on pedestal . I give them lots of love and affections and words of affirmations. It just seems I attract the love bombers and narcissistic people .