i think i have a crush on my friend, but...
i have a close friend that i spend most of my orchestra time with her. to be honest, when i was still closeted, i used to have a big crush on her, but to maintain our friendship, i denied the feelings and at the same time, pandemic has just started in 2020 so we we did not have much opportunities to talk to each others, and i feel that the process of denying my affection to her actually worked. i also talked less to her and did not ant her to know that i am queer.
till this point, you know how closeted i was and how scared i was to not wanting people to know that i am a queer person.
but after so many years, my mindset has changed and i have accepted the fact that i am a queer, and i also told her that i am a queer this year, and she doesnt have problems about that, she is also a friendly ally.
but also, i redeveloped the affection to her this year because i get to meet her a lot again. i think about her every second, but she has a crush on another boy.
but at the same time, i think she is not that straight too just depending on stuff she likes and she also admitted she did think about her sexuality, it is giving denial stage and questioning.
i just have so many thoughts right now.
till this point, you know how closeted i was and how scared i was to not wanting people to know that i am a queer person.
but after so many years, my mindset has changed and i have accepted the fact that i am a queer, and i also told her that i am a queer this year, and she doesnt have problems about that, she is also a friendly ally.
but also, i redeveloped the affection to her this year because i get to meet her a lot again. i think about her every second, but she has a crush on another boy.
but at the same time, i think she is not that straight too just depending on stuff she likes and she also admitted she did think about her sexuality, it is giving denial stage and questioning.
i just have so many thoughts right now.
