Feeling confused

I always come back to the same thought. Am I bisexual? I’m really scared, confused and reluctant. I have been about on and off for 2 years now and I just have no idea. I’m a Christian so people around me are against people who are in the lgbtq+ community so you can see why it’s hard.

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Graylight · 51-55, F

Know this. Your God exists in a lot of places and if those who attend your church try to block you from Him, there' are other, welcoming places that hope you find them one day. Don't fear losing you God becasue he'd never lose you and don't fear the judgment of those who should know their holy scripture well enough to understand theirs is just a grave a sin.

That said, take things slowly. You're literally at the dawn of your exploration of womanhood and the journey takes a lifetime. I'd only suggest not worrying about labels, categories, names or things like that - they follow us all through life if we let them. You're unique and the way in which and who you love will be just as unique.

If you feel a yearning to explore other women, your opportunity will come along. If you're not sure and simply want to live a a state of fluidity, have at it. I've live a whole life like that and have no regrets. One thing I can tell you - which you can't appreciate for years to come - is that the crushing weight of others' opinions and judgments turns out to be nothing but an illusion. Vapor.

Live the life you want. If it means standing apart from the crowd, well, no great person in history was called a sheep. I promise you - and I know there are people who'll back it up - any struggle you have to get to your best life will reward you with a life greater than anything you could have imagined. Good luck.