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Poly relationships/ open relationships

Hello I wanted to talk to someone more about poly relationships and open relations because I am thinking and questioning myself and I need answers.
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I think if other people wast to do that then they can. I would never willingly be in one. It would kill off any goodness inside of me if my partner had any kind of sexual relationship with someone else. I would cease loving him. I would cease caring if he lived or died. I would be incapable of ever loving anyone else ever again because that it's how much it would hurt me. And I would never forgive him because he knows all the hurt I have already been through and what him cheating on me would do to me.
@CleverFunnyNameGoesHere but if it's open its nnot cheating but I do see where you're coming from