Struggles & Identity

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I Feel Stupid

For just now realizing I’m bisexual at age 25. I’ve, apparently, been in denial my entire life.

Please don't feel stupid about that.
That's a great thing to discover, at any age.
You're lucky you discovered it early.
Now you can look forward to having twice the fun for years.

passion · 56-60, M

I would love to chat with you!

akindheart · 61-69, F

don't think denial, think awakening

View 1 more replies »

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Bluesugar93 yes it is....denial is defeatist...awakening is enlightenment

Quizzical · 46-50, M

@akindheart Great way of thinking about it

akindheart · 61-69, F

@Quizzical thanks Quizz

badminton · 61-69, MVIP

LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M

@badminton 😂

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

Don't. Loads of people don't come to terms with their sexuality until later on.

DragonFruit · 61-69, M

I didn’t realize that I was bisexual until I was older than that.
Until I was 24, I thought I was straight.....then I thought I was gay for the next couple of years, until I realized that I was still attracted to women as well (I was close to 27 when I determined that I was actually bisexual).
I’m not stupid (and I don’t think you are either).....but for me, coming to terms with my actual sexuality was a journey.

JustGoneNow

@DragonFruit It’s not easy thing to know, often times.

ladycae · 100+, F

my late wife had a friend tell her she was a lesbian at 50 so your way beating her. i knew as a kid but avoided it till my 30's. so you beat me too. we each have our own journey to travel and the speed we walk it doesn't matter and the turns we take are ok.

JustGoneNow

@ladycae I knew at 11 or 12, but hid it from family until I was 23. It’s so tough to be open about. ✌️

ladycae · 100+, F

@JustGoneNow it was so much worse back in the day. be grateful you came out in 2019 when you were not taking your life in your hands. i lost two jobs, a home and a best friend, one morning i came out to an NRA sticker over my double woman's symbol om my car. We had no protections under the law.

JustGoneNow

@ladycae I didn’t come out in 2019. I came out in early 1999. 20 years earlier. Just months after Mathew Shepard’s brutal torture and killing. It was a much different time. I was raised in the traditional rural US Midwest. I was in the music scene, so there was a bit more acceptance there but I’ve bern cussed at, spit at (my beautiful black girlfriend at the time and I,) hurled every kind of prejudiced name and insult. I’ve had my car trashed. Believe me, I know what prejudice looks like. It is what it is. Peace. ☮️

stound

meh. some never quite figure out what they are, I think. so... you're ahead of them.

JustGoneNow

Oh, sweetie. Most of us struggle with that. It’s not easy to come out. *Hugs* 🤗

firefall · 61-69, M

lots of people take far longer to realise. Social conditioning is powerful and hard to break.

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Bluesugar93 · 31-35, F

Yeah, I told my grandma today. She took it how I thought she would. She told me I was wrong/confused, asked which of my friends turned me this way, questioned my marriage, worried that I’m going to pick up women when I visit family this summer, and was upset I told my sister. She’s now worried that my sister will turn bi because I came out to her and now she’ll be confused and break up with her boyfriend. @firefall

firefall · 61-69, M

@Bluesugar93 sounds about par for the course, sadly

JustGoneNow

@Bluesugar93 People just don’t understand. They think you catch it like a cold or are brainwashed. It just doesn’t work like that. It’s sad.

Quizzical · 46-50, M

Some folks come to the realisation at a much later age.

It's possible our sexuality changed and evolves over time anyway.

Bluesugar93 · 31-35, F

It explains why I was ‘okay’ with bi/lesbian girls sitting on my lap, twerking on me, kissing me, and playing with my bra in high school. @Quizzical

Quizzical · 46-50, M

@Bluesugar93 I think I would have been okay with that too 😂

JerseyGal · 51-55, F

No reason to feel stupid at all. There is not a timeframe for age on when anyone should know or realize.
One of my friends figured out when she was in her 40's.

SW-User

Don't feel stupid. It's fairly common. My friend just found out he's bi a few weeks ago and he's turning 23.

LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M

Eh. You're doing better than me. I was in my mid-40s when I figured it out.

MasterLee · 56-60, M

Many women do not figure it out until they are in their 30s. You are ahead of the average.

InvaderNice · 26-30, M

Aw lol, that’s not even that bad. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

MarineBob · 56-60, M

What did your husband say about it

Bluesugar93 · 31-35, F

He helped me realize I was bi. He had a feeling about our whole 9 years we’ve been together. He has been supportive and helpful with the process. @MarineBob

SomeMichGuy · M

? Hey, you figured it out now, not 10 yrs from now, so good. Can't beat yourself up about things as you discover them.

Don't beat yourself up; the world will have more than enough time to do that for you.