Struggling, need help...

1.) I don't trust anyone and I never want to see these people

a. My dad (was never really a dad to me)
b. Old co-workers (stalking)(harassment)
c. Former friend (stealing)(lying)(stalking)
d. My brother(assault)(lying)(stalking)

2.) I have no where to go I tried leaving the state, they followed me. I've had to quit three jobs because they talk to the people I work with. I tried living/working at a hostel but they followed me there. I tried going to a homeless shelter they followed me there and I was getting death threats and shit which I really don't care, but they followed me there too.

3.) I try to workout at the gym and I get harassed. I tried going to the cops and they threw me into the fcking hospital. Everytime I leave the house people follow me around.

I don't want to live anymore and there's no one that I can go to for help. I don't talk to anyone one now because I think they are in on it. I've told my mom and a couple siblings about it and they all blew me off and made it seem like I was talking nonsense. I feel stuck and unable to enjoy the things I used to. If I go to the coffee shop or library I always see former coworkers. I want to press charges. But every time I call I get told to call someone else or that they'll get back to me and I never get called back. I don't currently have a phone because I've been out of work. I've been miserable for so long now and I don't know what to do.

Any tips or if you've had similar problems please let me know how you got over it.

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HumanEarth · 56-60, F

Boy I can freaking relate to a lot of what your saying, especially my dad, My sister and my brother

Co workers not so much, I pretty much get into a fist fights with them.if need be.

Family thats another question, I can't just beat them up.

In my early years life was really bad, so bad I even thought about suicide.

So yeah, I UNDERSTAND

Maybe the shit they put me though is the reason I crossdress.

Lostpoet · M

@HumanEarth It's good to know that people can relate. The whole co-worker thing it's just they were recording me and following me around and I was running away. They weren't doing it out of maliciousness, but still being followed around and not knowing when or if someone is just going to show up is stressful. And when I went to the cops I shouldn't have been treated like I have been and people have continued to mess with me and they are able to because the cops won't do anything.

HumanEarth · 56-60, F

@Lostpoet I did have this one thing with one co worker like decades ago.

They took a folklift and put my car on the roof.

I went to jail for this, but he lost his job.

I found him in the parking lot and I beat the living hell out him. I was so mad that I blackout and don't remember attacking him.

When I came out of the blackout, 4 people were pulling me off of him.

I don't know if he went to hospital or not that day, because I went to jail for 3 weeks for it.

But I never seen the dude again and he never showed up for court. So the battery charge was dropped