Please tell me I am not the only one...

I don't understand the response saying you are the only one ,but you are not the only one and times like christmas and the way you were treated cause wounds that scar the soul. That pain becomes attached to the holidays . How could anyone just put that aside and feel the christmas spirit? I usually post this poem i wrote on the public side i think it gives people a glimpse into the hell that was and is real for children and carried by them as adults . i wrote this at age 15 but it happened at age 10
The ghost of Christmas past
's the night before Christmas
i sit on this bed
the bruises are swelling
there's pain in my head
my clothes in a pile
thrown near the door
blood in my underwear
there on the floor
blood on my face
red as a rose
i'm sure this time
he's broken my nose
i know that it's Christmas
it's just hard to see
we have no presents
not even a tree
it's Christmas out there
in here it's the same
me like a piece
in your twisted game
the things that you do
make my stomach hurt
you'll probably beat me
for ripping my shirt
you said it was only
till she came back
a man has his needs
till he gets back on track
but she is not coming
and you just won't stop
they tell me it's Christmas
and maybe it's so
i hope tomorrow the bruises won't show
it's hard to explain
such a clumsy kid
people always asking
just what i did
did i fall from my bike
or crash on my board
i make excuses
for things that you do
i'll never tell
you know that it's true.
it's a Christmas gift
i give
from me to you

I’m so sorry you’re suffering, Aly. You deserve so much better. I hope you know you’re never alone either. 🫂

The holidays are the darkest days for me. It's the period that rubs in how I don't belong

You're absolutely not. holidays are the worst time for a lot of people.