Yesterday there was a guy who ran from the police.

He stole a chicken and a shovel and he was running with both of them in each hand. When police caught up to him, he had combined the chicken and the shovel into a mechanism that would sling eggs at its target. He hid behind some sand bags and slung approximately 700 eggs at over 500 armed personnel.

The fight only stopped after a total of 14 hours when the national guard flew in a helicopter carrying the one and only thing he wanted: Jeff Garlin wearing nothing but a thong and carrying a plate of fried chicken.