You have to work hard on things if you are still alive though.
America is the great boiling pot of the world (not a melting pot)
Please keep trying to work on your issues. I agree. It might even be the HARDEST place to have any kind of nice life because it LOOKS so possible on one level.
Also there is a great deal of sheer SADISM here. Its impossible to escape the feeling that we LOVE to hurt others.
But I have the same feeling and I have been here forever.
You just have to press on. Let me know how you are moving along. I have lots of good ideas that sometimes work.