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Old School Teacher Arrested !

A school teacher was arrested today at JFK International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values".

"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we've determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by a President at any time in all of history. ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, NBC proclaimed Trump has solved yet another problem created by Biden
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Rickichickie · 61-69, F
Sadly it could be true. I never thought that I'd say that things were better when I was young but now, with knowing about all what's going on in the world right now I tend to, yet being well aware that all along I've heard about the most horrofic and outrageous things.
Sorry that I can't laugh about your satyr but I bow to your writing skills.
@Rickichickie Beware! Al-Gebrah is after you.
Rickichickie · 61-69, F
@Slicker24 I was good at geometry at school, the only part of maths I was good at.
My weapons are the pointy set square and the protractor. 📐
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
I enjoyed this intelligently witty and acerbic observation on the state of the world. Brilliant!
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ArishMell · 70-79, M
Wonderful!
Livingwell · 61-69, M
Too funny. Well written!
IM5688 · 61-69, M
Very well thought out and very creative. Love it.
PHlover19701 · 56-60, M
Very funny. These days, I could see this actually happening.
Levenrack · 46-50, M
Gawd. This is why I don't read or watch the news. I'm going back to bed. 😐
WowwGirl · 36-40, F
It terrorized me too
in10RjFox · M
@WowwGirl Al Gebra must be wiped out.
Mcmarie90 · 31-35, F
You had me until the end, when you said CNN and MSNBC said Trump solved another problem lol. It was originally written for W
Weapons of Math Instruction https://share.google/2cdfpvY3mjvvYOXFn
in10RjFox · M
@Mcmarie90 oh!.. sorry that I forgot to mention that it was a forward and not created by me. Just added to my collection here so I would remember.
in10RjFox · M
@Mcmarie90
. ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, NBC

should have amended this as

ABC, DEF, GHI, JKL, MNOPQ
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
Trump just outlawed the binomial theorem as being too "DEI".

He also outlawed group homomorphisms as being far too gay.

And the Chinese Reminder Theorem. Too foreign.

Gina.

And forget about using L'Hopital's rule. Too French.
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@JoyfulSilence I suppose Integration is out, too; and as for those "Sins"...

He might like Logarithms though, given his geneological claims. Napier was a Scot!
in10RjFox · M
@ArishMell
I suppose Integration is out, too; and as for those "Sins"...
yes.. for all SINs COSd by him.
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
@in10RjFox

I wonder if he likes cosplay?

Him and Epstein dressed up as sharks, as MC's of a teen beauty pageant.

 
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