Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Recently, I was diagnosed with - Age Activated Attention. This is how it develops.

I decided to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my
car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can
under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage
first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out
the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting
warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water
the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and
wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.

GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

BUT LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC !!