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I Believe In Internet Relationships

Oh YES! And it happens like this :


• A special person notices some of your posts/comments;

• They're drawn to your dirty mind and/or revealing avi;

• They perv your profile;

• They add you;

• They PM you;

• You perv their profile;

• You respond;

• They respond;

• You share things you shouldn't;

• You become co-dependent;

• You bond by exchanging used underwear and faxing each other apple juice;

• Then one day you notice they're ❤ing someone else's posts - but not yours;

• You attempt to make up with angry sexting;

• It works and they insist on a meet up;

• You agree because you're full of vodka and can't remember how to lie;

• You show up at the 3 star motel in Provo;

• They call and tell you they cant make it because their mother won't pay the airfare;

• You confess you hate your parents too;

• You go home and log on to SW;

• You find their tell-all 24 paragraph post (with screenshots, links, and a google map of your house) calling you out for being a catfish/child molester/homewrecker;

• You think about unfriending them but you don't want to look weak or needy;

• You send them a Q-tip as a gift hoping somehow they'll understand;

• They mute you;

• Random people start to console you by asking for nudes;

• You respond;

• The process repeats itself.

Its all so magical! You can trust me - I've been sawed in half.

SW-User
You have either experienced this yourself or you another person (like me) hired by a secret government scientific organisation to study sw users mating habits...
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

Yes .

SW mating habits will be weaponized used to punish terrorists.
SW-User
I didn’t pick up on the formula until the 10th go around.
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

Use it wisely 😎
SW-User
@BatRinseRepeat I’m going to stage 6 the fuck out of someone right now
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

My hero 😁
Cowboybob · M
Just like “Wuthering Heights”....
SW-User
@Cowboybob That’s like my favourite ever story. 😭
Cowboybob · M
@SW-User Heathcliff!
SW-User
@Cowboybob If I could bring his fictional character to life, I would. 😍
Love it. 😍
SW-User
no one said online dating is a substitute for a therapeutic vibrator
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

One does what one can do ✌
SW-User
@BatRinseRepeat but honestly though it is sad, how fucking insane it is and how fucking stupid we are sometimes. that's why i only have portable ventboxes here
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

Think inside the box 😉
Coppercoil · M
And now I know what you have been up to..
Coppercoil · M
@BatRinseRepeat I do.. you forget I can astral travel. Manmade laws do not apply to the spiritual realm so don't bother calling the police.

Btw. You hit a home run.. you are a talented story teller.
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@Coppercoil

You've had "astral" on your mind ever since I met you.

And thanks for the review - I'm working on a screenplay.

Or maybe a board game ✌
Coppercoil · M
@BatRinseRepeat it's true.. you are observant.

I agree, and I'd watch and play with you all night long.
Recovery420 · 26-30, M
this is so fucking funny. is this real??? wtf...
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@Recovery420

It's based on facts ✌
Recovery420 · 26-30, M
@BatRinseRepeat your facts? :D
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@Recovery420

I will neither confirm or deny that Provo has made me a better woman 😏
drymer · 56-60, M
Lol "Random people start to console you by asking for nudes" 😁
drymer · 56-60, M
@drymer "You agree because you're full of vodka and can't remember how to lie;"
😂
SW-User
The only thing missing is the exchange of 3D printed body parts 😏
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@SW-User

Coming soon to a Canadian Tire store near you !
hlpflwthat · M
This is brilliant.

Although faxing is kinda so 2015.
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@hlpflwthat

I'm romantic like that ✌
Pfuzylogic · M
Nice job on the sawing.
Your bum still looks cute 😙
i hate it when i get sawed
BatRinseRepeat · 31-35, F
@DuchessOfMapleSyrup

Especially when your ass ends up in a rented storage unit 😎
Burnley123 · 41-45, M
You have excellent wit.
IrishPat · M
That was epic 😂
That’s is so funny. 😆

 
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