ive had a girl from tinder very directly accept a date, which is what i wanted, but now i dont know if i do

@Therealsteve you do, make it southeast Asia, or the Philippines

@averageguy haha thats where i went - malaysia. I had literally hundreds of filippinos from singapore "yes" me every week

@Therealsteve stick with what actually does work

@GoFish I have even bigger horror stories from women i know in person who have intermittently reinforced romantic signals across a year to extract whatever emotional or other availability they want in the moment, on demand. one girl had started coming to my church group and she was just way too beautiful for me to let myself be hurt by, and so i really distanced. she'd then come to me "can you sit next to me so other guys wont talk to me?", then calling over to me when i wasnt sat with her. it got to the point that she asked me for piano lessons, i agreed to loan her my piano keyboard which required me to get it from my dad's house (who is abusive) to her on the other side of the county (state) to give her the piano lessons she requested. She just happened to ask for it just a week before going to India for a month, had me wait all that time and agreed to my request of also having meals and movies together and said i could come over whenever i wanted, and once she got back, 180d with everything. i think she may have some degree of masked autism or something else, i dont think it was with english being her second language. i was initially extremely polite, telling her that when she buys her own piano, not to buy brand new online as she wont know what its like and offered to try out second hand pianos for her. No emotion just "it's okay, X will bring your piano next week". i got a bit upset and sent her a paragraph on how she hurt me, same robot response. and so i told her how she treated me was not okay, which she just thumbed up and later told me shed given my piano back to the guy picking up for me. when she was next at church i was stuck with the intermittent reinforcement, how pretty she was, and annoyance. i kept looking over, and guess what she did her usual smiling and waving like nothing had happened. and shes incredibly avoidant, would never talk to other people at church in the whole year she'd attended. other than the girl who introduced us and one other girl, i was the only member of the adult church group that she'd been attending alongside me for a year. she just hovers and doesnt interact with conversation, almost like having a young child around. yet just 2 weeks after this discard, she makes an effort to talk to another guy and it's when im in the same room, right behind me! it's really messed me up. i had a dream about her yesterday

@Therealsteve eh sounds like you have a lot of resentment towards girls and women i don't see where she did anything wrong at all and yet you take great offense against her for what? then you call her autistic because she's happy and you're not for whatever reason? not cool

@GoFish im an autism practitioner, have managed a firm that supports children with these disorders, and am working toward an MSc in healthcare management, im also a church president who learns about all our members. i think you would have needed to have been there and also understood the culture. several people also viewed her as having led me on, and for neurodivergent reasons, one of them warning what my life would have been like if i did continue things with her due to what she was like. and neurodivergence or not, im not happy when someone requests i take my piano to the other side of the state for them, have me wait a month to teach them, for them to suddenly cancel and want to return it. not cool.

I had a look through her social media post history and yeah i saw her posting hatred about relationships and valentines day, and posting about offering phony romantic interest in exchange for drum lessons that time. not cool.

Had another one of her friends intermittently reinforce me at the same time, as well. wanting all the emotional availability of a relationship without her actually committing. trauma dumping within just a few conversations, then asking me about my relationships, giving me gifts, asking for a hug, putting her hand on mine repeatedly, telling me i made her feel safe and so on. and ive noticed she only befriends autistic/bpd girls. again though, you weren't there, but i had another member confirm that she had issues and was messing me around.

I just so happened to have three church leaders message me within the same few days wanting to talk to me about how almost all the neurodivergent members including the girls had been playing games with me due to my openness and patience. They wanted access to me while not having the emotional capacity to properly commit to friendship or girlfriend responsibilities that would earn that access in a healthy way. That i needed an intervention to learn how to set boundaries.

they will be attending the same class for the next two years weekly and i need to pluck up the courage to tell them to back off. The first one i told you about of whom you dont see her as having done anything wrong i was told by someone else has such issues that my life would be a "nightmare, imagine having kids with her" and that id become quickly very popular within the church and subsequently had a string of girls on various spectrums playing with romantic gestures whenever they wanted my attention when i asked simply if something was "off" about her. not to mention the fact that in being so open the church throws investigators at me, many of them girls, and being open they request things and share things with me. and with them, just like the neurodivergent girls, you witness such high rates of nasty personalities.

I am going to cut them off, i need to. It's just how i'm going to frame what i say to them. and how to get over the one of the two who i find very physically attractive and who will continue with the intermittent reinforcement for the next 2 years, weekly, if i dont say something.

@Penny I messaged her a few hours after making this post on here, suggesting to her Thursday, as she had told me she earlier that day that she could do Thursday or Friday. She messaged me a day later to say that she actually needed to cover someone's shift on Thursday. I immediately responded "no worries, how about Friday?" and I think she then blocked me.

@Therealsteve well, i guess it worked out for the best then lol

@Magicianzini I messaged her a few hours after making this post on here, suggesting to her Thursday, as she had told me she earlier that day that she could do Thursday or Friday. She messaged me a day later to say that she actually needed to cover someone's shift on Thursday. I immediately responded "no worries, how about Friday?" and I think she then blocked me.

@Therealsteve Women are amazing in how well they read vibes. Some even outrank the Magicianzini.

@Gibbon We traded numbers and she told me she'd be busy that week, but that she'd message me to organize something for this week. I messaged her on the Monday of the coming week asking when she'd be free. She told me the day after that we could do Thursday or Friday. i messaged her a few hours later and suggested Thursday. She messaged me a day later to say that she actually needed to cover someone's shift. I immediately said "no worries, how about Thursday?" and i think she then blocked me.

@Gibbon This happened shortly after making the post unfortunately lol. I was nervous due to consistent bad experiences, but pushed myself to go ahead with what i just told you.