Most of my life I thought it was me.

I can relate.

I understand this a lot

I've always thought this way myself.

Yeah, I've been there. I will freely admit that my ability to people has not always been the best and I've made some mistakes. I've let down others and I've let down myself. I've come far enough to know that it wasn't always me though, just like you say. I've been treated like dog shit at times. What's worst is that I accepted it.

We live and learn, my friend.

Ughh it has been crippling for me especially at jobs. I'm really trying to not magnify everything I do or don't do and immediately criticize myself, or think of all ways I might have done anything different. I'd never do this to anyone else, ever..yet we immediately without thought do it to ourselves. Engrained from trauma or conditioning usually in our past, so it's nearly subconscious to just blame yourself always. It's really distorted if we think how we'd never do it to another. Many warm thoughts 🌼

We can’t please everyone, nor can we accept the blame for everything, sometimes we have to just accept and move on..

the other person may have a lot of problems and heartache at home

Glad you are coming into your own.

I used to beat my self silly with that " What did I do now.." crap too.

Later in life I found it was me doing the stuff people didn't understand and later still before I realized

I am not a preforming monkey in anyone's circus but mine.
If you don't like the show stop buying tickets to it./ :-)

Samesies. It's the curse of a non narcissist introvert

I have apologized for things i haven't done ...

I'm done doing that tho ...