Guys what would you do if your wife...

@deadgerbil What about your love?

@Lichocolati I'm not interested in making excuses for toxic behavior even if I'm married to them

@deadgerbil you could divorce her but your still responsible for the kid.

@Adrift unfortunate reality of the court system

@deadgerbil the unfortunate consequences of sex. Men can always choose to get a vasectomy if they are serious about not having children.
Also a little "pre marital" counseling by a family law attorney might not be a bad idea. Most people don’t know how the laws in thier state work until they are already deep in a situation and want out of it.

@deadgerbil I really wouldn't quit my marriage because my wife had my kid without my knowledge but that's me

@Adrift I recall reading how there have been various cases where a boy, like 12, 13, 14 years old, gets assaulted by a grown woman and that woman gets pregnant from it... Then years later when the kid is an adult, he gets slapped with child support for something he was a victim of. It's ridiculous.

The courts need to be reformed big time.

@Lichocolati having a kid is a huge responsibility and one that many people take way too lightly, and a decision that is best done when all relevant parties are consenting and knowledgeable of it

@deadgerbil An adult seducing or assaulting a 12, 13 year old child should be sent to prison for molestation. In a situation like I would think the child born from that would be sent to foster care.
Different situation than a consensual marriage.

@Adrift you're dealing with one party not consenting to something. Just bc a person is in a marriage doesn't mean they consent to getting pregnant.

And how does being in a marriage justify someone lying and poking holes in condoms, etc to achieve a pregnancy when the other person doesn't know or want kid(s)

It's a d!ck move no matter what mind of mental gymnastics you decide to pull.

Having kids needs to be a joint effort where people know what they are getting into, not one person being selfish and thinking that getting married gives them the license to be a d!ckhead.

People take having kids way too lightly and that's a big reason as to why society is so messed up.

You've brought no intelligent arguments to this discussion, only excuses for people who act like as$holes in marriage.

Hard to believe people in their 50's have such moronic takes.

Kindly, eff off at this point. Absolutely ridiculous

@Adrift This lady I know she decided to keep the baby after being raped. The guy is about 34 now. He would sometimes tell me that his mother would sometimes tell him she didn' that's want him because he's a rape child. He seemed heartbroken each time he talked about it. I completely understand that his mom is still traumatized by her past

@deadgerbil Some boomers love nothing more than taking away people's reproductive autonomy, I swear to god.

@Lichocolati Some people are so stupid. If you are going to raise your child then love your child 100%. I know a rape baby also. She was treated like a precious princess and was never ever made to feel wrong or bad. In fact her mom refused to have other kids become she didn't want her only daughter the product of rape to feel any different than her siblings.

@REMsleep It's really not stupidity. People react to traumatic experiences differently.

@Lichocolati it's not fair to the kid to put them through that.

The mom went from wanting the kid to reminding him about how he's unwanted. That's pretty messed up and no kid deserves that kind of parent. That kind of behavior trespasses overtly into idiotic territory

@Lichocolati I disagree. If you cannot control your emotions enough not to cause tramatic emotional harm to your own child then that is stupid. You are the adult thats part of being a responsible adult.

I don't support her behavior but she's allowed to feel how she feels. I suffered anger issues for years and took out my anger on a lot of people so I totally understand her.

@REMsleep Even a trained actor or actress would seriously struggle to repress their feelings for that long and pretend like everything's fine, especially to such a standard as to fulfil a child's emotional needs without them being to tell. It would be even more challenging to avoid commiting suicide after so many years of that miserable existence.

@BlueVeins No its about integrity. My mom is a dear friend and mentor to two cousins that had a bad messy situation that was something like this. My friends mom was loving towards her daughter the product of rape. Its a choice not acting. Love is a choice period.
Perhaps it is our faith in God which supports this strength and mindset.
But it is selfish to pour your ill emotions on your child.
I understand that noone is perfect but bad words to your child are a choice.

@REMsleep Words are a choice, emotions are not and you seem incapable of comprehending the fact that people have different emotional reactions to situations. Glad your friend's mom was lucky enough not to have that adverse emotional reaction, but those who do have that shouldn't be expected to repress their own feelings for the rest of their lives when they didn't even have a choice in the matter to begin with.

@BlueVeins No you aren't understanding that all actions are a choice and choosing not to display every whim of emotion is not acting period.
I also personally find it stupid to attach this level of emotion on an innocent child for their whole life.

@BlueVeins I never said that I blamed people for having these types of emotions thats why I prefaced my opinion with the word "personally" meaning for me or to my personal way of thinking its stupid.
The part that I am blaming the mother in question for is saying hurtful things to her child just because he was the product of rape. There is no excuse. And I disagreed with you that it would be acting or impossible not to display negative actions towards the child or negative visible emotions.
And again I think it is stupid to carry this blame towards an innocent person. I don't care if my entire family was murdered in a brutal rape session that left me disfigured for life. I could never look at my baby with shame or blame.