Why am i so ugly and fat

I usually get compared to my cousin but i hate my appearance alot i cry in the bathroom after a long day getting insulted i always get called "fat" or "thick" or "wide" and i hate it so much it got me so insecure thati force myself to exercise and when i eat i feel guilty but i also cant stop eating it makes me sad to see how fat i become and all the insults just runs into my head and it wont just stop and my family also calls me ugly and fat wide and thick also