I feel unconfident, unlovable and ugly

I know it just seems like I am looking for reassurance.

However, I just want this feeling to go away because I know I don't always feel this way about myself.

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CountScrofula · 41-45, M

You know all the nice things I have to say about you but like, what matters here is how you feel. And you have a pattern of having bad nights on your own where you just start to spiral with self-loathing.

This is your brain lying to you. Your brain has been trained through trauma to punish yourself and this is a long-term problem that will be a long journey to correct.

You aren't an awful person, and you rationally know that. You have a chronic health issue that's a result of how other people have treated you, and you would never tell someone else in your situation "You know you're right you ARE awful" because its just not true.

caccoon · 36-40

@CountScrofula thank you, this helps a lot and I think it is true.

And I am not excited to fix it cause it's mind-bending hard work that I simply don't believe, but I need to do it until I am better, and keep up with it forever. I feel like this is just normal for me now.

I appreciate your supportive words <3

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@caccoon Like let's be clear. You a brilliant artist who can live independently off of your art and various side gigs, and that is an incredible achievement most people in your field will never come close to. You have a gift with plants and horticulture well beyond most people I've ever met. You are a wonderful dog mom. You are unspeakably kind and empathetic and constantly concerned for others. This is also not to mention you have great aesthetic tastes and (as a friend) you're smokin' hot.

Nobody is perfect, and of course you have flaws but like... the fundamental problem your self-perception not your lack of worth. I know for a fact if you met someone just like you, you'd think she was the coolest fucking person on earth and you could never be as good as her.