I feel increasingly isolated and alone

Most days i barely remember and i feel like i barely exist. I have 2 close friends but they don’t live near me and one is getting married with a kid soon, so i feel like we’re probably going to drift apart eventually. Im super antisocial because i generally have a hard time trusting people and a hard time relating to basic things. Ive been slowly trying to better myself on my own but i dont really know if im doing it for me or to feel worthy of gaining a deep connection with someone. Not sure why im putting this here, but i guess i just needed to let it out somehow.

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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

Hi being anti social over trust issues is a good thing my friend . I had 2 great friends before and they were so good to me I thought I couldn't last without them . I'm mostly on my own these days and I can relate about the isolation and connections what your looking for .
Do you know what that is over trust issues .
Your looking for a true friend and being around someone with normal conversations .
It's painful on your own at times .
Usually when your like that the mind can play tricks on you to drag you into a bog of self pity ( not taken away how you feel my friend )
When you have trust issues what you usually happens is the mind gets very cautious and suspicious and then the mind can tell you that your the bad person.
Your whole inside can come away from you with that thinking . You loose weight if you take it deeper but you have to learn how to control the thinking instead of the thinking controlling you .
The fears are either loosing huge attachments or after loosing them .
That's can bring up massive self loathing .
When the thinking is like that that's when the mind can get toxic.
That's if you take it that far .
That's my best answer about isolation and trust issues my friend