Naivety as a shield?

The meaning can lie between two poles, with on the positive side an unbiased purity uncorrupted by knowledge ("This observation is of a touching naivety"), and on the negative side stupidity, lack of worldly wisdom and culpable ignorance ("He stumbled as a result of his political naivety").

I would put it forward that in real life one is confronted with both states of the meaning. In his treatise Über naive und sentimentale Dichtung, Schiller distinguished between 'childish naivety' (as in lack of intelligence and ability) and 'childish naivety' (as in innocence and natural love of truth).

Love of truth. That's something I'm faced with day in day out. How can something bad that happened in my childhood be still influencing me? Late in life one has that. Experiences from a past where one was indeed naive are now still present. Is that really a shield?

Am I promoting moral idealism and neglecting the fact that pragmatism is actually the way to go? I do hope not. There's also the artistic 'naïf - all responsiveness and seeming availability'. Here the concept adopts a traditional, mature temperament. In the sense of a perpetual adolescent moratorium.

In short, I don't think that my sexuality is at all immoral and I do believe that my love for someone unattainable after decades isn't being irrational either. Perhaps I look out for real perversion because it does make me strong in the belief that what happened to me was indeed wrong but not unusual.

It all makes me think of Pierrot, a painting by Watteau, again. What people see or rather make out of ones behaviour at times or even daily presentation is afterall only for eightteen procent right. Thus I'm sure that I'm not Snow White nor the Evil Queen either. One just needs to love.