Who or what am i?

Like i want to be a boy but not in a trans way but at the same time i like being a girl but i want to be both or control 2 lifes at the same time? Idk or like today im a boy next day im a girl and the very next day im a boy again? Idk if im being weird or if ppl are going to understand me, im just so confused. // I also hate my personality or yk the the "new" me. Its not the way i want to be and im making myself uncomfortable.