I Need to Be Intellectually Stimulated

I just need it. For everything. In today's mundane futile societies it's so rare to have decent intelligent and profound connections and conversations.
Specially to create a relationship worth having and to create deep and interesting bonds that last more than a few hours or minutes. I've no trouble attracting and being with people surrounded by many friends but I feel those connections are not really worth having.
Sure I have and I'm capable of having relationships with other people but they just don't last and don't make much sense and they aren't satisfactory. But due to the lack of stimulation and wanting to be with someone I often let that happen. But it's rarely a good idea and I often get bored really fast.
For me to have any real interest in someone I need to be intellectually stimulated specially with someone as intelligent as me. Or at least with someone that has a real interest in learning.
Does anyone else feel like this?

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I do... and it's become a struggle. "Mainstream" people seem to want to marginalize me for being a fan of learning rather than drooling over the latest trends. Even at the gym where I read (a book - old school style) while on the treadmill, I'm known as that dude who is always reading even though that's just 15 minutes of my total workout. Additionally, it's just impossible to find satisfying sustainable relationships - although I do have a touch of social anxiety, so I'm not trying to blame this necessarily on others. I'm sure I'm not the easiest person to get to know. I guess I come across as unapproachable. In any case, yeah, I can relate to your scenario...

SoFine · 46-50, F

@MarkPaul Mark - your first true relationship is how you be in you.
The one to complete and validate you - is you. Then when you are comfortable in you, so to will others. Those that are at home in their being, don't notice "Mainstream".....

I do read allot like you, the most inspiration, is from Bio/autographicks. ...such as Gandhi, Nelson Mandela. ..I just purchased Nick Vujicic (born with no limbs). we all have challenges, we all get pushed, we live to either win or complain.

Get to love you first, get to know your insecurities, then know that a future mate, will trigger them, then you can work on them together. We are all full of fear, then find ways to be with the fear, your mind will dwell there on them or not. That is why meditation helps to watch the thoughts then to stop the inner talk that drives you to withdraw and keep you separate.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@SoFine This is good advice... but... well... I can't seem to get past my self-hatred. It's not that I am giving up or that I will stop trying, but... I can't get past it.

I have learned to practice the discipline of gratitude and I am thankful for what I have in context with me and in comparison with others. I am SO thankful. But, underlying it all, without fail, it is always there... self-perpetuating self-hatred.

Finally, I do acknowledge it is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect someone else to love me in a relationship when I can't find a deep enough pool of self-love to wade into. This continues to be my life's challenge...