What's so bad about one keeping to themselves?

I was asked if I have always been this quiet. For majority of my life, yes.

Why do people make this out to be a bad thing?

I had literally just come back from lunch, in which I sat and socialized with 5 other people. I came back into the work training on time, and waited for the next session to begin.

I was sitting quietly to myself and that's when the comment was made. Mind you, we'd been in groups, exchanging info, and learning the entire day .

Some people need a few moments to themselves.
Why is that so hard to understand?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

HellsBelle · 31-35, F

ive gotten that my whole life too. sadly i think its just something we have to deal with, but also to make posts like this so people can understand. everyone always thinks that silence needs to be filled 🙄 i think it might be habit for them. so any quiet person is immediately noticed

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@HellsBelle yea I've noticed. The same facilitator made the same comment to me 3 weeks ago. (Multiple Sporadic trainings prior to actually starting the job). That time, I had just come inside and was finding my place. I get " are you always this quiet". Like what is there to say, just walking in? I said hello and greeted folks. Should I have interrupted the speaker to talk loudly about the weather or what?

HellsBelle · 31-35, F

@iamnikki seriously! its a lonely life as an introvert. no one seems to get it. and the fellow introverts that get it, also dont talk 😂

SethGreene531 · M

All too familiar. It's either that or " You're quiet. You okay?" Since most people vie to be the center of attention these days, those taking a minute of quiet contemplation become the oddity.

Also there seems to be a certain personality subtype that can't leave anything undisturbed. Whether its a colleague with coffee reading a book, or someone catching a nap.

Lukeman · M

It's due to 16 different personality types. An introvert is in a minority and the extravert has different needs.

SW-User

[c=004A59]I don't know. I'm the same way and always wished people could just let me be. When I was working, some days I went to lunch with everyone and some days not. On the days I went out to lunch with family or did errands, I got called "anti-social". On occasions when I read or studied through lunch hour, people got upset that I read classic lit and history instead of trashy novels. Everyone is always wanting to take me on as a project and "fix" me.[/c]

nonsensiclesnail · F

What motivated them to ask??
Might be that they are bad at asking questions and it was really coming from a place of concern or a poor attempt to make conversation.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@nonsensiclesnail idk, like I stated I had just sat down and was waiting for instructions. The comment was made by the facilitator. I don't feel the need to turn and talk to my neighbor every single time we get a 5 minute break. And I honestly pushed myself TO be more social, and was still called out. I was headed to my car for lunch and was invited to sit with 3 others, so I did . Then 2 more joined

curiosi · 61-69, F

People wish to control others. When we keep to ourselves, have boundaries etc. it makes this task harder.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@curiosi she didn't say it in a malicious way or anything. I just get tired of hearing the same comment over and over again, especially when I am trying harder than usual to chit chat and socialize with people

curiosi · 61-69, F

@iamnikki Most are not aware of how they wish to control others, hence "she didn't say it in a malicious way".

Wiseacre · F

Just tell em what u need..don’t worry about understanding!

Add a comment...