What was it like leaving your childhood home?
When I think about my family, I want to throw up.
It's time to go.
One more summer. Got some work to do. I will try to sell the house to someone in my family so it stays in the family. I will visit these people from time to time. I will give them a call and send them a holiday card.
But I need to be far away from home and them.
I love my home.
We will enjoy the summer as much as possible. Get some beach time in.
Hopefully everything works out. My family are rich assholes so they might love to keep the house in the family name. It did make me feel important at one point to have a road named after me. A road that, as kids, we owned and played outside all day everyday on. In the woods, the swamp and the fields. Ten minutes from the beach. Now this road has four developments and 400+ houses. It can take over an hour to get to the beach, at least 30 minutes.
I've complained about it here over and over.
I love it so much but I hate it.
Just like my family, I love them so much, but I hate them.
I have to leave it all behind. I can't keep loving what hurts me. It's destroying me. I deserve better.
So we're going to Tucson. Trading the ocean for the desert. I don't know if it's permanent yet, but I know we need to find somewhere to call home. And we need a community. And fresh food and sunshine. And a saltwater pool. I can make it happen. One way or another, I know I can do this.
I will miss home. Walking the beach. The sandy pine forest. My swamp. My trees. My fox. My red tailed hawk. It's a lot to give up. It's deep roots to pull.
My heart can't take the pain of what's out of my control though. The destruction. The berating. I don't want to die unhappy here just to be here, sad that it'll never be as magical as it was.
My childhood home.
It's time to go.
One more summer. Got some work to do. I will try to sell the house to someone in my family so it stays in the family. I will visit these people from time to time. I will give them a call and send them a holiday card.
But I need to be far away from home and them.
I love my home.
We will enjoy the summer as much as possible. Get some beach time in.
Hopefully everything works out. My family are rich assholes so they might love to keep the house in the family name. It did make me feel important at one point to have a road named after me. A road that, as kids, we owned and played outside all day everyday on. In the woods, the swamp and the fields. Ten minutes from the beach. Now this road has four developments and 400+ houses. It can take over an hour to get to the beach, at least 30 minutes.
I've complained about it here over and over.
I love it so much but I hate it.
Just like my family, I love them so much, but I hate them.
I have to leave it all behind. I can't keep loving what hurts me. It's destroying me. I deserve better.
So we're going to Tucson. Trading the ocean for the desert. I don't know if it's permanent yet, but I know we need to find somewhere to call home. And we need a community. And fresh food and sunshine. And a saltwater pool. I can make it happen. One way or another, I know I can do this.
I will miss home. Walking the beach. The sandy pine forest. My swamp. My trees. My fox. My red tailed hawk. It's a lot to give up. It's deep roots to pull.
My heart can't take the pain of what's out of my control though. The destruction. The berating. I don't want to die unhappy here just to be here, sad that it'll never be as magical as it was.
My childhood home.
41-45, F
