I need to talk about this…
My roommate and I shared a cat with a group of people, but half the cat’s life, the cat became primarily ours. I’ve known my roommate for 18 years, we met in college and are still close to our group of mutual friends we made then. 18 years is a long time to know someone. This cat we shared lived to be 17 years old which is a long time for a cat to live. He died naturally at home and we were luckily there to console him and eachother in the cat’s final moments….
Something that people don’t know is that about three days earlier, my roommate was home drunk, and was very upset about their job and their coworkers; they work for a law firm. My roommate was drunk and upset about various things and definitely reached a tipping point —they start goin around the apartment breaking things. They smashed a side table, they broke a remote control into pieces etc And they threw the cat! - Especially after that I was telling them I was going to call the cops on them if they did one more unruly thing!-They sat down! I scolded them! “How dare they do that to the cat especially bc we’re on the bottom floor; under the cheap wood floors is definitely concrete! And you threw him at it!” ( the cat was thrown and slid across the floor. He got up and hid somewhere. There’s broken pieces of things and feathers from the couch everywhere) My roommate tears up and runs into the bedroom crying. I swept a walkable path but there was no way I was going to be left out in the living room to clean their mess. I left a pile for them to clean in the morning. I stayed in the living room the whole night zoning out into the tv. The cat comes over and snuggles.
I thought to myself how I wish I had the job and money to move out w the cat… the cat and I took a couple selfies. The cat seemed ok overall…
But I couldn’t stop flashing that moment of the cat being thrown I. My memory. I still can’t… as I said a few days later the cat died. He was weak and disoriented and eventually his bowls gave way and he was gone….Both my roommate and I mourned for days. They were feeling some guilt about the throwing At the time I said it was not their fault
It’s been about 3.5 months since the cat passed. I woke up this morning remembering the throw. It makes me upset that it happened and I had to witness it. A mix of anger, sadness and disbelief. I feel a bit of uncertainty as well. I wonder if this is something to judge my roommate for forever or if I excuse it as a mistake… it’s difficult when you know someone for almost 20 years. A mistake like this also drudges up their minor flaws and annoyances and other mistakes they’ve made over the last two decades. Two decades is quite the spectrum to judge someone from. Of course they’re not all bad- I’m also not perfect either… But I feel it’s put me in a place I’m not sure how to feel about…
How do I bring it up to them? I don’t think I can exist and brush it under the rug. I know it’s not the happiest topic but it bothers me and I don’t what else to do about it…???
Something that people don’t know is that about three days earlier, my roommate was home drunk, and was very upset about their job and their coworkers; they work for a law firm. My roommate was drunk and upset about various things and definitely reached a tipping point —they start goin around the apartment breaking things. They smashed a side table, they broke a remote control into pieces etc And they threw the cat! - Especially after that I was telling them I was going to call the cops on them if they did one more unruly thing!-They sat down! I scolded them! “How dare they do that to the cat especially bc we’re on the bottom floor; under the cheap wood floors is definitely concrete! And you threw him at it!” ( the cat was thrown and slid across the floor. He got up and hid somewhere. There’s broken pieces of things and feathers from the couch everywhere) My roommate tears up and runs into the bedroom crying. I swept a walkable path but there was no way I was going to be left out in the living room to clean their mess. I left a pile for them to clean in the morning. I stayed in the living room the whole night zoning out into the tv. The cat comes over and snuggles.
I thought to myself how I wish I had the job and money to move out w the cat… the cat and I took a couple selfies. The cat seemed ok overall…
But I couldn’t stop flashing that moment of the cat being thrown I. My memory. I still can’t… as I said a few days later the cat died. He was weak and disoriented and eventually his bowls gave way and he was gone….Both my roommate and I mourned for days. They were feeling some guilt about the throwing At the time I said it was not their fault
It’s been about 3.5 months since the cat passed. I woke up this morning remembering the throw. It makes me upset that it happened and I had to witness it. A mix of anger, sadness and disbelief. I feel a bit of uncertainty as well. I wonder if this is something to judge my roommate for forever or if I excuse it as a mistake… it’s difficult when you know someone for almost 20 years. A mistake like this also drudges up their minor flaws and annoyances and other mistakes they’ve made over the last two decades. Two decades is quite the spectrum to judge someone from. Of course they’re not all bad- I’m also not perfect either… But I feel it’s put me in a place I’m not sure how to feel about…
How do I bring it up to them? I don’t think I can exist and brush it under the rug. I know it’s not the happiest topic but it bothers me and I don’t what else to do about it…???
31-35, F
