I woke up crying

I dreamed that I went to my mom's house to visit, and when she didn't answer the door, I used my key and let myself in. Her dogs were there greeting me, and it smelled like home, but Mom wasn't there. I decided to surprise her when she got home from wherever she was. So I was just hanging out, waiting. Then I suddenly remembered... She wasn't coming home. She is dead.

I felt such an overwhelming sense of sadness, it was like my vision actually darkened. I woke up crying and have been crying off and on all day. We had a very rocky relationship and were total opposites of each other, but I do remember good things about her, and how welcoming her home always was. It made me so sad to finally have it sink in... I will never see her or that house again. That is a place that will only ever exist in my memory now.

I'm so tired of being sad.