Let me give you my take on this Miram. I have dealt with narcissists and abusers before.
This is definitely a complex situation involving physical abuse, challenging behavior, and a narcissistic individual.
Predators, including narcissists, typically aren't "afraid" of others. Narcissists often exploit and manipulate others to get what they want, and they view challenges as a threat to their control, rather than something that instills fear in them.
You mention that being challenging made the abuser "hold back" because he was "afraid" of you. This could be a coping mechanism or a way you're interpreting the situation to make sense of your experiences. However, it's questionable whether the abuser was truly "afraid" in a typical sense. Narcissists are more likely to react with anger, manipulation, or aggression when challenged, rather than being held back by fear. They thrive and demand control. That doesn't sound like fear. Besides, men know they're stronger than women so it's doubtful, in my view, these type personalities are fearful at all. It could be another reason like not wanting to risk going to jail, rather than fearing the woman. They are more inclined to have a god-like ego, seeing themselves as a god. They're not afraid of anything. Except one thing. They don't know what the word love means and they do not fear losing someone because they love them, but because they might lose control of them, and they desperately need their daily "fix". They must have the victim. If a person is in this situation they must get out at all cost and not continue to allow themselves to be victimized. But there's definitely a right and a wrong way to do that. That has to be carefully planned and you have to know your enemy and how they work.
Your interpretation might be a way of attempting to reclaim control or make sense of your survival in a difficult situation.
