Waiting on the New Year
[media=https://youtu.be/40eIqmK9udM]
Today is day of sadness after two days of anger and confusion.
Knowing me, I'll wallow inside of it for a couple of more days and then shed it with the New Year. My life has been a collection of scattered happiness and endless pains. Wonderful minutes, surrounded by never-ending losses.
But in a few days, the calendar resets itself and just like every year of the past 55, I'll hope this is the one that brings my soul peace, my heart a happiness of ease, and my mind the clarity to appreciate it all.
But like the lottery, the odds are against me. And, even though I fight off the feelings to end this endless struggle every single day..., I'm still here and I'm still trying, despite the calls from deep within the darkness that lays inside me.
Trying to support those I love.
Trying to make my world a better place.
Trying to be happy, kind, and considerate to those I come across.
I am not a great man. I don't even know if I'm a good man.
But, I am a man !
Too many people hold too many opinions of me.
None of which matters all that much to a 55-year-old guy just trying to do his best when he knows his best wasn't ever good enough before.
But who knows ?
Maybe this year..., the year of 2026 will turn it all around ?
Maybe..., just maybe..., This will be my year...
But for now, I'll just travel through this sadness and the loss. I'll hope to find another way to go about it all. I'll wish for this pain to recede and my heart to freeze over so that I don't need to feel what I feel right now.
Bring on the frost.
Ring in the New Year.
Be well
Live happy
Keep trying,
Rob
HAPPY NEW YEAR to Everyone!
Today is day of sadness after two days of anger and confusion.
Knowing me, I'll wallow inside of it for a couple of more days and then shed it with the New Year. My life has been a collection of scattered happiness and endless pains. Wonderful minutes, surrounded by never-ending losses.
But in a few days, the calendar resets itself and just like every year of the past 55, I'll hope this is the one that brings my soul peace, my heart a happiness of ease, and my mind the clarity to appreciate it all.
But like the lottery, the odds are against me. And, even though I fight off the feelings to end this endless struggle every single day..., I'm still here and I'm still trying, despite the calls from deep within the darkness that lays inside me.
Trying to support those I love.
Trying to make my world a better place.
Trying to be happy, kind, and considerate to those I come across.
I am not a great man. I don't even know if I'm a good man.
But, I am a man !
Too many people hold too many opinions of me.
None of which matters all that much to a 55-year-old guy just trying to do his best when he knows his best wasn't ever good enough before.
But who knows ?
Maybe this year..., the year of 2026 will turn it all around ?
Maybe..., just maybe..., This will be my year...
But for now, I'll just travel through this sadness and the loss. I'll hope to find another way to go about it all. I'll wish for this pain to recede and my heart to freeze over so that I don't need to feel what I feel right now.
Bring on the frost.
Ring in the New Year.
Be well
Live happy
Keep trying,
Rob
HAPPY NEW YEAR to Everyone!
