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How early do you do food shopping for thanksgiving or Xmas? (Depending on what you celebrate)

In previous years since moving out I would try and split the cost with my mum by placing an order from November to book a slot allowing me to buy the meats and the champagne/prosecco, whilst she gets the veg and anything extra.

This year due to my pregnancy... I asked my mum to communicate with my boyfriend so they could decide what they would like to eat.

She hasn't been in touch with my boyfriend at all.

She's been moaning about her kitchen not being tidy and there being an issue with her sink.

So she needs to redecorate.

This was back in July.

Since then we have been buying baby items and were given some, just so both our parents have things for if ever they baby-sit. Moses basket, baby bath. That type of thing.

But she keeps complaining that she is running out of space.

Yesterday when she came round I asked her have you two decided what's happening for Xmas? She said "umm no...
Don't worry it'll be sorted!"

Annoyed I said "when, we're in December".

She texts me this morning saying "she will be round later but she has things to do before hand/ parcel collections and tidying up as her place looks like a bombs hit it! 😂 She also wanted to know what time my boyfriend was leaving to go and baby sit for a friend"

I didn't find this funny. And he hadn't mentioned the time to me so I was unable to tell her that. But to me it's irrelevant whether he's here or not. He's as much a part of this Xmas as we are.

Annoyed I looked on the website that I usually book food from to see what the slots were looking like . They have 22nd, 23rd & 24th left and very few times slots.

So I booked one. It states you have to put a deposit down to secure the basket. So I have.

What's awful is that the turkey crown I put in the basket vanished, as it suddenly became sold out.
So I've had to just put what I can in to hold what items I think she may like.

I know she will argue with me later.

But I'm fuming because this is what Xmas used to be like when I was a child due to my mums last minute behaviour.

Should I have handled this differently?
Lilymoon · F
I'm not cooking this year 🥳
Stanlee · 61-69New
Oh! Sorry I mis-read your question. It was about food not presents wasn't it? Silly me. I usually buy a chicken in the bag and it's the same with the veg.
4meAndyou · F
Usually a week before hand. That way, if the turkey is frozen, (as they sometimes are), there is time for it to thaw.
4meAndyou · F
@Mellowgirl I am really THRILLED that you pulled your thinking up by its bootstraps and RE-thought the whole thing.

If you did not eventually realize that your Mom is always going to be HER, and never ideal, you would always be unhappy with her.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@4meAndyou agreed. It's the sad truth but she needs help.
And is awful at asking.
Tbh my anxiety about us potentially arguing was a waste of time. But again a sign that I can't gage her reactions.
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ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
Usually a few days before, if there's anything special to pick up. But more often we dont make a special trip for the holidays, just try to plan ahead with the regular shopping.
Secretsmile · 51-55, F
How old is your mother? Idk but depending on her age I think she may need some help. Not being mean to you but we had a large family at one point and it would wear my mom out. I bought food and helped cook and it was still too much for her.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Secretsmile my mum turned 60 this year. She would be catering for 3 people. In this particular instance although she would have been having my help, my boyfriend has said he is happy to help including driving/financially. Especially as he's never had Xmas at ours before it would be a great opportunity for them to bond, ahead of the new arrival.
They've survived a week's holiday together.
Our tradition was to make Christmas gumbo (along with the other stuff, turkey, veggies cranberry sauce and cornbread dressing).

And coincidentally, crab season in San Francisco is around the same time, so buying crab leg meat for the gumbo made it especially delicious and Mom, my sisters and I would trek over to the Wharf seafood mongers to buy it.

After Mom stopped doing major cooking I would prepare the gumbo, and my middle sister would go buy the crab.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard sounds like a nice joint effort. That actually you were all happy about.
Stanlee · 61-69New
I'm not a Christmas shopper. I give money for presents and let them do their own.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
This time of year I keep the cabinets full of goodies. So it's just the norm during the Holiday season.
Musicman · 61-69, MVIP
Two to three days in advance. I hate the long lines the last day.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Musicman same here I hate the long lines, not getting everything you really want.
The stress of it all.
The few years I actually cooked I would be so ready that we stay up until late Xmas eve making cocktails, being merry and just slow cooking the meats so we can focus on using the oven for other things on the day.

*Sigh*
Musicman · 61-69, MVIP
@Mellowgirl That sounds nice. I rarely drink, but this year my cousin hosted Thanksgiving. He made drinks. They tasted really nice. 😋

 
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