Family talk. How do you help and have patience with your aging parent when you're tired too?

It's mother's day soon.
I find myself lacking. Or well, it's more of a feeling.

I've been really moody these days. To be real, I actually only started prioritizing myself and asking them to do things they should be able to so I have less on my plate.

But then in that short span of a time, I can't help but notice mom's becoming more tired and stressed.

Makes me feel like a super woman because I've been carrying and doing most things for so many years and it's only now that I made the decision to lessen the baggage LOL. But see...seeing your parent tired most of the time...well, it doesn't feel great. Not at all.

So how does one become a good child and still be able to take care of oneself without overworking and over handling things and responsibilities? Is it even possible? But it should be. I just haven't found the right equation yet.

Pls. share if you've learned anything from your own experience. I could really use the help. Thank you!

Top | New | Old

Adrift · 61-69, F

I went through the same thing, my father could be a both a treasure and a bear to deal with.
He needed help buy wouldn’t accept any from outside the family.
I found myself becoming more impatient, then the guilt.
If you can get some outside help, meal services, housekeeping through a seinor resource and hopefully they would be ok with it.
It could take some of the pressure off of you a bit.
Assisted living could also be something to consider.

Ohplease47 · F

@Adrift rich people only get admitted there, in all advanced countries but mine, all health care, and most education and housing..is free or close to it.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Adrift Hi, thanks for sharing. How did you manage if I may ask? Your own needs and that guilt feeling, I mean.

My mom is able. Praise God for that.
Just...I'm working for the most part and committing to obligations. It's a mental and physical kind of tired afterwork.
It would be really great if I can trust and rely on them to be able to get the things they need on their own, so I can use my time to actually rest.

Ohplease47 · F

Have helpful friends with cna skills

I will help in exchange for temporary shelter maybe in the driveway or backyard tent, and some equally deserved...kindness.

U know what I mean.

Its a plastic bubble world...until you or a relative needs real care...the kind nobody has the "time" to offer....

Except my "type". Not certified cna in your state unless u are in mine, but the skills are close enough.

peterlee · M

How old is she?

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@peterlee Not yet senior. She's able and healthy. Just that, my family has this stubbornness when they need to learn new things like technology and stuff.

So I have to deal with things they need even while I work. It's time consuming to have to deal with everything so I tried to lessen the list for myself.

She's staring to help on that bit, which is nice. But yeah, it's a mountain to climb.

Magicianzini · M

If you don't have help, it's all about having a highly organized schedule.

Also, watch the percentage of "prioritizing myself". If it's too high it will result in a malfunction.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Magicianzini To be real, I see what you mean.

But I don't really feel I've put priority on myself for so long a time. So now, I'm making time for it. No backsies.

Add a comment...