Im aging....... and im mourning myself

Im 32. I feel i lost a lot of my youth and beauty. Im starting to mourn it. I woke up and my face looks different. The scars around my face have deepened. My hair is still growing and there is not much i can do with it. I am plucking white hairs from my scalp. Im the same age my mother died 20 years ago. It really unfortunate really. Im seeing my life pass before my eyes. Says are going by faster. I start work and in a blink its already over. I remembered when working took forever. Life is going by so fast. I feel im not my age. I feel younger. But my body feels otherwise. I gained 20 pounds in 3 years. Im still small. But not as slender as i used to be. My chest hurts a lot. My bones ache. I just miss my old self. I feel i never got to live my life. I dont know. I just feel ugly and old. Its a strange feeling really. I cant make tiktoks anymore. Im just so tired lately. I feel like im wilting away.