Im a actually starting to look my age ( a lot closer to 30 than 20) and something about that doesn't sit right with me

Ive always looked way younger than I am and i feel like I've aged 5 years in this past 1 😭

How is aging treating you?

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ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

Aging is getting to me the past year or two since my wife's dementia became obvious. I look in the mirror and feel I just look so tired and worn these days.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@ChipmunkErnie

Aging is getting to me the past year or two since my wife's dementia became obvious. I look in the mirror and feel I just look so tired and worn these days.

Poor you. How long have you been married to her?

ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

@sree251 45 years

sree251 · 41-45, M

@ChipmunkErnie

45 years

Wow. Your situation is practically one of two bodies and one soul. My acuputurist was a little older than you at 84 and married to his wife since forever. His situation was something like yours: wife had a recurrent stroke and partially disabled. He told me that he was getting worn down through having to tend to his wife: days and days at the hospital sleeping in a chair in her room watching over her, helping her in the bathroom, bathing her. And yet, he was attentive to me during our pin-pricking sessions, telling me about his life back in Korea, the tough time coping with migrant life in the US as a pharmacist who couldn't speak English, and his faith in Jesus. Do you have a religion, Chip?

ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

@sree251 I figure some day we'll have to look into a memory care unit for her, but not yet. The hardest part s are those moments she seems almost like her old self, but they never last long.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@ChipmunkErnie

figure some day we'll have to look into a memory care unit for her, but not yet. The hardest part s are those moments she seems almost like her old self, but they never last long.

Is your experience with her dementia similar to what we see in movies: she doesn't know who you are in those moments when she is not her old self?

ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

@sree251 Not that bad yet, but getting there. Remembers almost no one, forgets words, etc. Can no longer read, crochet, art, etc. Has trouble dressing.

sree251 · 41-45, M

@ChipmunkErnie

Not that bad yet, but getting there. Remembers almost no one, forgets words, etc. Can no longer read, crochet, art, etc. Has trouble dressing.

I don't know how your actual situation is but if she is not physically impaired, I would consider you lucky. I know, it is hard adjusting to someone who no longer can live in lock-step with you, being part of a team. You are intimating something harder to deal with, that she can't function mentally to even brush her teeth, bathe herself, etc.

The life we are living is not natural. We have become accustomed to a complicate lifestyle dependent on technical innovations. It all began when we were not contented with moving on two legs and climbed onto a horse to live at a faster pace. Learning how to ride became a necessity. Inability to do so was frowned upon as a deficiency.