How Can Families Support Someone in Recovery Without Losing Themselves?

I have a friend who is NOT a drug addict, and who is probably a FORMER alcoholic, and when I read your first sentence I identified completely. He claims he is much more ill than he actually IS, is an emotional vampire, and lives for scraps of undeserved pity.

Unfortunately, the MORE pity he demands, and the greater the drama he enacts, the angrier I become with him. I have been bringing him food. And now, because I am so angry with him, he has begun to push me away. He yells at me, in fact.

So I have decided that I now have a boundary, and will no longer try to feed the dog that bites the hand that feeds him.

It's about finding the line between support and responsibility. This is very, very difficult to locate and there are always mistakes made. However you want to ensure that this person you love so much has the tools they need to get better.

At the same time it is their hand which wields those tools. You cannot force someone to get clean. If they refuse to, then your job is to let them know you won't tolerate indulging in the addiction in your presence, but the moment they're ready to sort their shit out you are there for them.

It is a skill set. A family member went into rehab and the place made available series of classes for family on how to support them, and more importantly how to protect ourselves. It helped..😷

I think they just need to tell that family member that they don’t like what they are seeing.

There are family support groups.

Learn about and then avoid codependency.