Men don’t deserve to sleep with me.

I do understand the appeal when it’s equal pleasure for both parties, but even so, it’s not just sex by then. At least not for the woman. If there is someone who is really doing it for her, she most likely loves him.

Women need so much more than just physical touch to be aroused and I learn my body actually goes through cycles where I don’t find myself aroused for parts of it at all and realized if a dude as trying with me at those points, I would be really mad and heads would be rolling. 😅 @CrazyMusicLover

@soulrespite I'm just...different. 😅 If hormones work as they should, I don't need much to be aroused, I'm a very visual type but yeah, the touch itself simply can't work. I don't remember the time in my life when that would happen. It always starts with either some visual stimuli or a thought.

I went through a period of a complete asexuality lately. The body didn't work at all in this aspect. It was frustrating but also kind of eye-opening. You really see some things differently when you are devoid of sexuality. How much we're biased...

Yeah.. it’s almost like we are just going through the motions.

I realized that out of all the ppl I slept with throughout my life, if I could go back in time, i would have actually chosen just one of them. That’s insane. Out of like 9 ppl.

And that’s the thing. I think it’s actually normal to not be sexual all the time. For periods where your body is just doing other things and we shouldnt be this hyper focused on sex. @CrazyMusicLover

@soulrespite
Hmmm, I can't relate. I felt downright unhealthy. I needed to relax my body and couldn't. Because there's a certain type of breathing involved after "getting off" that relaxes the body and I couldn't do it. I didn't even realize it until I lost it. I mean, of course it's normal to not need it every day but I don't think it's healthy for a long time. Idk, maybe it's again specific to me, I don't know how other women have it but it's sort of like a physiological need for me. And I don't talk about sex, I feel like I don't need it at all and never did but getting aroused and releasing the energy and then relaxing is something my body physically demands from me after all these years of having the habit. It helps me to fall asleep as well. Actually, the habit is so strong that I don't even know how to include another person into it. 😅 It's like...I learned very early how to take care of the need myself and never needed anyone else and it's stress-free, safe and non-invasive.

Interesting. How do you breathe normally day to day? What is moving when you breathe in and out? Your stomach/belly or your chest?

And I relate to that last parts of what you’re saying so much. Once I learned what does it for me, I don’t want anyone else included. But even for years before that, I didn’t learn right away.. I just didn’t want to give myself away to randoms. @CrazyMusicLover

@soulrespite I'm not sure because the moment I start thinking about it, I start breathing more to the belly. But overall, I started being more conscious about breathing about 2 years ago when I came across some video with breathing exercises, I tried it and learned it was helping me to hold emotions under control better if I was under the stress, at the verge of crying, etc. I also learned that breathing to the sides to expand ribcage is important for me because I normally breathe rather with downward motion, not to the sides.

Last year I went to physiotherapy because I had problems for months and they taught me another great trick how to relax abdominal muscles because mine very obviously hypertonic. It's very simple: you lie on the back with lower back fully touching the mat, legs bend and apart with feet on the ground and each at the level of your hips, head on the mat and looking up, then you flex all your abdominal muscles so your entire abdomen is hard and breathe like that. They told me to try to get air as low as possible but I wasn't able to do that. It still helps though.

So to relax them, you have to flex them? @CrazyMusicLover

@soulrespite Yes. The effect comes later. First you flex them all and just breathe but you need to have back fully lying on the mat and I forgot to say that your shoulders need to be on the mat too. Not pushing but rather lying flat and relaxed, only abdominal muscles should be consciously flexed. You test it with hands if all of them are hard, even those on the sides, near hips, etc. And then you should be trying to get air with breathing as low as possible, as if down to the pelvic area.