I have to say, SW really does surprise me sometimes. In a good way.

Thank you to those who reached out to me yesterday and today concerning my doctor’s appointment. I know it was just a physical so it was no big deal really, but that level of concern and well wishes were very much appreciated. 🙏🏻


I’ve seen more doctors this year than I have in any year in the past 20. And you’d think I’d be immune to their offices by now. But I’m not. I’m definitely not. Because of that my BP was elevated this time, which concerned her. She told me the top number was 141 and I simply pft’ed at her and showed her the readings I’ve been taking over the course of the month and while they do fluctuate, they still hover around that number. Because of that fluctuation, she believes it’s tied to anxiety and I agreed with her fully.

So, she doesn’t want to put me on additional meds right now, which I greatly appreciate her for. But she did up my anxiety medication from the “baby dose” of 5mg to 10mg to see if that helps lower my BP before we look at the additional meds route.

She also commended me on my weight loss because it’s uncommon for people to lose weight on this medication, but she does want me to be careful not to lose too much weight too quickly.

And we couldn’t do any bloodwork because I didn’t have much of a breakfast and she didn’t want to do that today because of that. But I had lab work done at the ER recently and everything looked good with it. So. Yeah.


She’s set up several appointments for me to check on some other areas since it’s that time, and in doing so my mind went a little dark side.


When you deal with the kind of diagnosis that I was forced to, you become hyper…everything. But mostly just scared that something else will take you down that similar path you have no clue how you survived walking down the first time around. Every new appointment with a doctor becomes an opportunity to have something else uncovered…something else that could be a weapon against the happiness you’ve fought so hard to get back to and maintain. And that’s what happened with my visit today.

Thankfully I had my youngest with me, who is such a cool kid. He took me out for breakfast, and I made myself participate because…well, just because. I didn’t care about the sodium. I didn’t care about the carbs. I didn’t care about the calories because I sort of had the inkling this day could very well end up being a day simply because I opened the door for my health anxiety to come in for a while. A “why the hell not” moment.




I’m proud of myself for taking these much needed steps to keep tabs on my health given how threatened it once was, but saying any of this being a responsible adult gig is easy would be a complete lie.

Nothing to do but to do it though. 🤷🏻‍♀