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Have you made peace in your life? Are you taking for granted people know how important they are to you?

Do you think you will ever will reach out to mend those fences - put the past hurts aside? If you reach out to someone and they don't respond, will it stop you from moving on to the next?

Our life on this earth is fragile. It can be whisked away in an instant.

We are not promised tomorrow and recent events happening in our world should drive that fact home to every single one of us. Our demise might come in the guise of a big red bus or in mother nature's fury. No one knows.

When it's my time, I want to leave with a clear slate. I don't want to leave without apologizing and mending fences, or without telling those I love and care for, what they've meant to me, and how they have positively impacted my life. I don't want any unresolved issues weighing me down. I don't want to regret not saying what I should have, while I still had the time. I don't want to rehash the past and all the baggage that goes with it - I simply seek to be free of the burden of the unresolved.

A couple conversations have proven difficult, but they were freeing and in the end they were positive. I can't control who accepts nor who declines, but I can find peace in knowing I have done my best.
A very important promise I made to myself, that no matter what issues I’m struggling with in life, the people who matter to me will always know they matter. Too much illness and loss have taught me just how fragile life can be. If I love you, I will tell you. Just did so with my sister and niece. Hope it’s meaningful to them, I know it is to me.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@OlderSometimesWiser I understand. I've always tried to do that to a degree, but it has become more important to me, the older I get.
@LadyBronte I know. My diligence came from AA.

Once you’ve approached the erred-against and made as loving and humble an apology as you can, it’s no longer in your hands. Make it plain that person will always be welcome at your door and let it go.

LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Mamapolo2016 I guess I hope they know that, but I can't presume to say for sure. Congratulations on what I can only believe is AA success. That's a difficult road to have traveled.
@LadyBronte To be honest, it wasn’t and isn’t as difficult as I first thought. I was remembering yesterday how when I was in a meeting with the first counselor, I was explaining to him that I wouldn’t require as much work as most because I was cooperative.

And HE said. “Nice! How’s that working out for you?”

Busted. I laugh now.

One thing they teach you is that you are not in control of life events, tragedies, riots, and so on. You cannot direct the lives of others, or their emotions. You can do what you can do. No more. No less.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Mamapolo2016 That is truer than true. We can only do our best.
greensnacks · 31-35, F
I'm working on moving on from people that don't want me around and/or are actively hurting me and holding on to people that love me and want me around. They're not too much, but they're worth the world.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@greensnacks That is great!
I have peace and simplicity. I am surrounded by nature. I have people who love me. Some fences are broken forever. One can be mended. It takes 2 sets of hands though. Happy am I.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@PoetryNEmotion I am happy for you. And I agree. Some fences require minor adjustment, others are more difficult to mend, some are irreparable. But they are all irreparable without the two sets of hands.
@LadyBronte Gappy is extremely happy, LB? Have a golden day.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@PoetryNEmotion Im sorry. Typo. I am happy for you.
Coldplay · 61-69, M
Great question… I honestly don’t think I have anybody I have to mend a fence with. Everything right now is peaceful, I’m not in any bitter fights with anybody. I preferred to be that way. I guess I’m pretty lucky.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Coldplay You are! I have a couple of unresolved items on my list. Not scads, as my post might have made it seem. But they are important to me, and are taking up valuable emotional energy that I am tired of expending. I need those righted. 🤷🏼‍♀. We shall see. That's all I can do.
All the fences I know about have been, if not resolved, addressed.

Life was once chaotic. Now it’s peaceful and simple.

Drama is debilitating.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Mamapolo2016 Good for you! It's not so much about drama as it is the subconscious gigging you anytime anything even remotely related comes up and brings it to the forefront of my mind.
I show those who are important to me how I feel ...those that are important to me know this
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Yes, I’m at peace. Love is either given and received or it’s not. Blaming just leaves you empty. It’s better to part and keep yourself whole.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Adogslife You know I'm happy for you. And yes. You are correct. Lesson learned. I'm better off just being me without the entanglements and entrapments. When you struggle to regain as much of yourself as possible, you accept the lessons you're given, and move on with those lessons tucked firmly under your belt. You don't forget them and if you're wise, you don't make them again.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
@LadyBronte All true 😉

We also need to allow the love of others to reach us and fill us with joy, mostly…
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Adogslife I am not quite there yet. Maybe someday. 🤷🏼‍♀
SledgeHammer · 46-50, M
I understand what you're saying and i hope it all works out for you . Like you said, we never know when our ticket is up.

For me..its like, whats in the past, im leaving it there. If i had to go back to wipe my slate,i know some thing will start up again. Then where would i be.?

I just clear my head through my own heart. I wasn't the nicest guy and did alot of sh*t im not proud of and no matter what i do or who i apologize to, it doesn't change what ive done because who i am .

If you can honestly accomplish cleaning up your past with a bag full of apologies, i envy you.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@SledgeHammer It's a small bag, but enough so that it weighs on me. Perhaps, something that is different now, is that I don't expect or need apologies or recriminations, and I'm not asking for anything in return. It's what I do for me, expecting nothing. Expectations are insidious little devils that do nothing but break things inside. Life is best lived without them.
My olive branches and pledges have all been met with scorn, criticism, and suspicion.
This gets old.
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LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@SmileOnYourBrother You have always been respectful and kind to me.
Miked43 · 51-55, M
I’d never take advantage of anyone…let alone those important to me.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Miked43 I wouldn't take advantage of loved ones either, but misunderstandings and hurts do arise, and it is best not to let them go on indefinitely. It's also best not to assume they know how you feel or that you know how they feel. I think you lay your cards out on the table and move forward in a positive way.
Musicman · 61-69, M
I let those who are important to me know it. I tell them often and I am always there for them. Sadly that is not always reciprocated.
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Musicman Agreed. We can't control anyone else, and we can only do what we can do. The best we can hope for is a clear conscience and a lighter burden.
Musicman · 61-69, M
@LadyBronte True story. I needed some specialty help with a job I was doing. I needed someone who would climb four stories up off the ground take both hands off the ladder and work above their head. And, have carpentry skills. My best friend grew up working for his dad who owned a construction company before becoming a first sergeant in the Army Special Forces. I asked him for help and was immediately told no. A half hour later he calls back. He told me his wife told him she couldn't believe it. That I had been there time and time again for him and the first time I asked for his help he tells me no. After she finished with him he was more than glad to help me. The job went great. 🙂
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
@Musicman I'm glad he helped in the end. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded we can do better.

 
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