No help for mum

Last month, mother in laws doctor sent a referal to Social services for them to call and see her and carry out an assessment in order to help us put a package in place to meet her care needs. As a family who have never had any dealing with social services before, we had no clue how to get the ball rolling. She has Dementia and the memory clinic assigned me a support worker as they were concerned I have taken on too much with her care. However.....there is nobody else local to help us in anyway....so....what can we do?
At present, hubs and i visit her daily. In two weeks, hubs goes into hospital for an op and can not drive for 2 weeks after and i dont drive. Also, i will be back to work when school starts up. We were informed we could probably get crisis care for those 2 weeks. But....yesterday, i got a call from the social worker who visted Mum and she told me in her opinion, mum doesnt need any support so they are not going to provide us with any help or support to come up with a care package. She said mum clearly manages to meet all her own care needs and her house is spotless. Of course it is...coz we go there everyday and clean the kitchen, get rid of her rubbish etc.
So ..... dunno what will happen to her that week we cant get there....

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TheSirfurryanimalWales · 61-69, M

Don’t let this go…get another assessment done with one of you present.
Once you get the proper help it can open up access to benefits such as Carers Allowance and Attendance allowance.
Been there,done that.
If you want to know anything ask me.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales turned down for attendence allowance. Sister in law is reapplying. Not eligable for carers allowence. Another review will happen...but like i said, i have to take unpaid time off work to be there x

TheSirfurryanimalWales · 61-69, M

@RubySoo I had great difficulty getting all the help my mother needed but I kept chipping away and eventually Social Services came up with a proper assessment .
That got my mother daily visits ( three eventually) from carers, the assessment led to receipt of Attendance Allowance and allowed me to get Carers Allowance.
We got all sorts of equipment ( such as an air mattress bed with full length rails) installed for free as a result of that assessment.
District nurses called twice a week too.
But it did require that constant chipping away…and my insistence on being present at the assessment!
So they got the right answers…
But getting Attendance Allowance without a proper assessment to back up the application will,sadly,likely get you nowhere.
As I found out.
And that Attendance Allowance will help pay for the Carers because it’s not usually a free service.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales thanks. Im gonna sound really selfish now.....but her own daughter needs to.pull her finger out and get on to all this. Shes in no hurry coz shes not dealing with it every day like we are. We do ALL the footwork, but mum instist EVERYTHING medical and finacial goes through her own daughter. Suddenly, we are 'only' stepson and his wife and she doesnt think we are acting in her best intetests.
I do all the appointments, hubs runs around like a loon doing alsorts and the sisters come on the phone thinking we exagerate! Hubs has been working 6 days a week for the last 3 months. Hes out at 6am and not home till 6.30 pm. We gonto see her before we eat......and us eating late isnt doing much for my diabetes.
So it will have to be private care.....and her daughter is going to have to sort it. I think we do enough!