On Round 6

I’ve been praying for relief; that this round won’t hit me so hard. It’s been about a week since I had the treatment. This is the time it usually starts to effect me. So far, I feel weak and tired. The nausea hasn’t started yet. I’m dizzy when I lay down and first get up, but then it fades. I’m hoping that extreme fatigue that always makes me think I’m dying won’t happen this time.
My nephew’s birthday is on Sunday, my little sister is visiting from out of town, and I have a PET scan coming up which I don’t want to have to struggle driving to.

My mindset was different last round than it had been all the others. I stopped praying to just hurry up and die. Still felt like I was, but I turned to more positive thoughts: Lord, help me through this; whatever your will, even if I live, I accept that. Lol You have no idea how angry I was to wonder time and time again if this was it, come to acceptance of my death each time, and then [i]keep living[/i].

Whatever the suffering is like this round, I’m not mentally tormented this time. It’s okay. 🙂