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This post is gross, and I’m very ignorant

I’ve started running again, and it feels great. I’ve cut almost 40 seconds off my current mile time, and am training to get to where I was before all this mess.
But I still have an open wound from where the tumor pretty much ripped me open. That hasn’t closed up, and it even looks like it’s growing again. (Yes, I’ve talked to my oncologist. Everything hinges on what the surgeon will say after my appointment in August)
It stinks and leaks more now that I’m running again. I feel gross and ashamed and frustrated, because I want this to be over with already. I have goals and ideas of what I want in life.

I’d been talking with a case manager who was trying to find me some programs that could help me through this whole process. I told her the results of my latest PET scan. “Just waiting to see what the surgeon says. Dr. told me the tumor was necrotic but there was a bit of cancer on my lungs. Not sure if they’re going to cut part of my lung or if there’s more they can do to shrink it, but it’s pretty much dead. 😊”

“Now, I’m not a doctor…” she said, “But I think it’s stage 4 if it’s metastasized. 😥”

“Last I heard, it was 3C. I mean, it still shrunk from that.”

“Also, I don’t think ‘necrotic’ is a good thing when it’s still in your body. ☹️“

Oh…

Then my sister who was in the medical field said the same thing. My bad. I only know some medical word parts because I had to learn them when I was training to be a court reporter. I know nothing about application of the words. And doctors don’t elaborate unless you ask, but I didn’t realize I needed him to elaborate. I thought a tumor being dead tissue meant the beast was slain. My bad.

I stink. 😔 …I’m still going to go running. 😃
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I know from experience that iodine and iodide shrinks tumors and heals them completely, because I had what the doctors called an "incurable" disease, called Dupuytren's Contracture. This is where you have numerous tumor growths in the palm of your hand which pulls the ligaments in your fingers towards the center of the palm of your hand, permanently! Well it is curable, and I did my research and my hand is completely normal after getting rid of the tumors in my hand with the mixture of iodine and iodide in a product called i-Thyroid. I think I'd be getting me another doctor if I were you. 😡
@Colonelmustardseed have you tried to keep Neosporin on that open wound? I think I would even make a baking soda paste and put it on there and I have even used calamine lotion to draw out poison in wounds and boy does it work great. Just put it on there real thick and you'll see it begins to heal. Just a suggestion.
@LadyGrace I haven’t. I wonder if it would help get rid of dead tissue. Castor oil is supposed to do something similar.
@Colonelmustardseed Personally, I would use calamine lotion but shake it up real good. Put it on thick and keep it on there until it heals. It will pull all that poison out.
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
Just enjoy one day at a time. My wife has stage 4 technically but that doesn't necessarily mean a death sentence anymore. She thought it was all over and thanked all the doctors after her last MRI, and they looked at her puzzled, "you still have to keep coming back!"

She also read one of the reports where the surgeon said that operating was futile because she was terminal.
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@Colonelmustardseed Well her breast cancer is gone, but it spread to one vertebrae. They did radiation method on the vertebrae that stopped and even shrunk it but they have to still monitor forever I imagine. She is very positive and expects a full recovery. She is taking that a drug to reduce possible relapse but it makes her feel tired and like shit generally.
@JimboSaturn I hope it gets better for her. And I’ll heed your advice.
JimboSaturn · 56-60, M
@Colonelmustardseed It's hard to gage how things are going, different doctors say different things. You sound positive since you are running (you are probably in better shape than me)
That pesky little wound! It just can’t take a hint lol. Same with the tumor 😜

Really though, I hope your next appointment sheds some promising news and that you feel better. At least now you know some questions to ask next time.

Don’t be ashamed or anything. You’re nothing short of amazing. A lot of people would be hiding away at home. I’m proud of you for persevering and doing what you live. 🤗
@cherryxblossom Thank you. 🥹
SW-User
Keep trying to get help for your issue. I hope you’ll find an answer. Don’t feel gross about it. Human beings aren’t perfect. Maybe look for herbal remedies as well if it’s ok with your doctor.
@SW-User Thank you. I will. I’m considering castor oil, but I need to research more first.
SW-User
@Colonelmustardseed good 👍🏼, never give up. Nothing is easy but we need to keep trying.
IamCuriousBabe · 51-55, F
Keep enjoying what it is that makes you feel wonderfully alive. And keep fighting.
@IamCuriousBabe Yes. I never thought I’d love running so much. I used to hate it, but now it’s one of my favorite things to do. 😌
deadgerbil · 26-30, M
Nothing to feel gross about. I hope this gets resolved. Cancer makes me paranoid
@deadgerbil Thank you.
15 mins isn't long enough most of the time.

 
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