That’s not my face

Insecurity. The shame of feeling ashamed. I didn’t wear makeup for the longest time because I was okay with how I looked. I’m not pretty, but my face wasn’t so bad. When I got sick last month and needed surgery for a bowel obstruction, there were two weeks when I didn’t eat. The hospital hooked me up to an IV and that was that until they started introducing liquid foods to me. Then I got sick again a couple weeks ago and was back on a liquid diet in the hospital. I lost a dangerous amount of weight and haven’t been able to gain it back even though I’m eating again.

My hair fell out, including eyelashes and eyebrows; not all, but noticeable patches of my brows missing. My scalp showing severely. I look sick. I look in the mirror and can’t stand that face. That’s not me!…yes it is right now. Just for now. It’s hard to accept that, so I put a bit of color on my cheeks and eyelids (hide those missing lashes a bit). Gotta look like a human being again.