Health crap

In 2020 I was diagnosed with pre-Cancer. Complex Hyperplasia with focal atypia. I had a malignment tumor, however, was able to get it removed during surgery. My doctor actually suggested to get a hysterectomy because of how many pre-cancerous cells are building up. I however am young and didn't want to do that, I would be medication for the rest of my life and if I missed a day I would die. however not really sure what to do with the pre-cancerous cells so I have been ignoring them and hoping that no tumors have developed since my surgery in 2020. For me the chances I could ever get pregnant are very slim (If I ever wanted to have a baby). I always wonder my purpose here as a woman if I can't have children than what is my purpose? I don't often talk about my health issues because it's embarrassing especially because most my friends are guys, and they don't get it. I fear going to the doctor (stepdad druggy was doc too) so much like I did in the surgery. It's painful and is often compared to giving birth. Its uncomfortable mentally spiritually and physically. I don't want to Chemotherapy due to the fact that I don't want to lose my hair. I want to be like beautiful. I fear going to the doctor because I don't want to face this and feel it would be easier to simply die. I don't like talking about it a lot because I don't want people to convince me to go to the doctor, see me as weak, feel bad for me, or treat me different.