What makes you push people away? Do you know?

I can't speak for everyone but if I commit to something then I know I can't half-ass it. I want to give my best.
Most times I get afraid that I don't have enough to offer, that I'M not enough. Or that people will just get tired of me eventually.

I tend to push myself away & push others away when I feel that way. I just close the door & move keep moving. Sometimes I find an excuse & sometimes I don't say anything.

I'm not feeling that way right now.. I've just been thinking about it lately & I'm noticing things about myself that I never thought of before. I didn't really realize why I was like that but it's making more sense now.

I think I've always heavily protected my feelings & wouldn't allow anybody to hurt me.
& If they did I wouldn't show them that they hurt me. It's something I learned at a young age. It's like a survival instinct. You don't want the person who is hurting you or making you feel afraid, to know that you're hurt.. so you close yourself off altogether. It's defense mode.

Random but just felt like sharing that thought. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the same as I do but I know most people have different reasons for doing the same thing. I'm barely learning mine, do you know yours?