My SW life is adversely affecting my health. How do you compartmentalize?

Veteran SW Members: Please tell me how you compartmentalize your SW life from your real one. I am really struggling here. I have been an SW member for almost ten weeks. I am feeling guilty because I am hiding my presence here from my husband. He would never understand, even though he is the driving force for showing up. (For clarification, read my first posted story.)

But unfortunately, that guilt is manifesting itself through stress, and subconsciously causing me weight loss, excessive clenching of my teeth all the time, resulting in jaw pain and headaches. I actually had to go to the dentist today to obtain an apparatus, it's gotten so bad.

I really like my new SW life, but I have got to get a grip on this, or else I have to say "Peace Out!" Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Ynotisay · M

I see this place, and others like it, as having a layer of separation from "real" life. That's a benefit of anonymity.
I think keeping them separate is sort of mandatory.
That said, I'll guess the stress is because you're keeping something from your husband. So you might want to consider if coming here and sharing your thoughts makes YOU a better person or not. If it does, then your husband will naturally see the benefits. If not, then he'll also be impacted. I'm not a big one for secrets in a relationship. But I do understand that life is a solo whether you're with someone or not. So maybe it's just a matter of you considering what you PERSONALLY get out of this place and take it from there.

GlamGirl · F

@Ynotisay:
That's the thing. I get a lot out of being here. I really value my SW relationships. They make me happy. But I am a very "open book" kind of person, so keeping something held in, is not natural for me. It's like a battle between guiltless peace of mind vs. happiness and fulfillment. Which is more important??

Ynotisay · M

@GlamGirl: I hear you. Makes sense All I can say is that doing most anything where guilt comes in to play is probably not the best thing to be doing. That little voice in us should carry some weight.
So I guess it's up to you to justify what you get out of this place, and remove the guilt on your own, or avoid it for a bit.
Don't quite understand avoiding things that make us happy though.

GlamGirl · F

@Ynotisay: Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I have a lot to think about.