Anyone else bothered by the weird stuff they posted years ago but don't want to delete it?
This is true for all social media I have, mostly here and YouTube. YouTube isn't as bad, just random shitposting that sort of showed the real me growing up from when I was 12 onwards. Here there's some really weird stuff I probably posted when I was sleepdrunk or whatever. But like... IDK... so much has happened since EP shut down that while I'm the same person, I'm completely different at the same time. It's the same interests, the same enthusiasm, the same oddness... repackaged? It's so hard to explain but ever since the start of the summer of 2016, things really changed for me... for the better or worse depends on what category you're looking at.
But I'm not sure... if you're expecting me to be the exact same MMF/ISS from years ago, it's probably not going to be the same.
It's like when a company takes a product, does stuff to it, and releases a "new and improved" version, and it's essentially the same thing, but different? I honestly don't know how I've changed but aside from being a little less spastic, at least over text...
It's probably my manic-depressive bipolar. I haven't been manic in months, and I haven't been this manic in years. It feels so weird, but even at the height of my mania, feeling more spastic now than I usually am, I still feel so much different and look at my old posts like "yes that was me, but a different version of me."
Life is an iterative process I know, and we're all constantly making improvements to ourselves, but to be honest while I've improved in some categories, others have fallen flat, and it bugs me because I'm not able to perform even remotely at my peak capacity, and that feeds into my depression.
Oh the days when I was cringier in how spastic I was, but those were the days I at least had the energy to try.
But I'm not sure... if you're expecting me to be the exact same MMF/ISS from years ago, it's probably not going to be the same.
It's like when a company takes a product, does stuff to it, and releases a "new and improved" version, and it's essentially the same thing, but different? I honestly don't know how I've changed but aside from being a little less spastic, at least over text...
It's probably my manic-depressive bipolar. I haven't been manic in months, and I haven't been this manic in years. It feels so weird, but even at the height of my mania, feeling more spastic now than I usually am, I still feel so much different and look at my old posts like "yes that was me, but a different version of me."
Life is an iterative process I know, and we're all constantly making improvements to ourselves, but to be honest while I've improved in some categories, others have fallen flat, and it bugs me because I'm not able to perform even remotely at my peak capacity, and that feeds into my depression.
Oh the days when I was cringier in how spastic I was, but those were the days I at least had the energy to try.
