So on my last post, I used fictional examples. Some replies mentioned that there should be real life dudes as well.
I'm making this a thread.
I'm starting with a personal hero of mine as a guitarist and metalhead:
Zakk Wylde
Before he was known as the bearded berserker of Black Label Society, Zakk Wylde was just Jeffrey Wielandt, a soft-spoken kid from New Jersey who practiced guitar until his fingers bled.
And then, at just 20 years old, fate called: Ozzy Osbourne was looking for a new guitarist. Zakk sent in a demo, and overnight, he was thrown into the fire.
For years, he lived the dream — and the nightmare — of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. The stages got bigger. The parties got crazier. The bottle became a friend, then a crutch. But through all of it, one constant remained:
Barbaranne Wylde.
They met before the world knew his name — when the Les Paul was still just a dream and not a symbol of legend. She wasn’t just the girl behind the rocker. She was the strategist, the manager, the fireproof shield around his chaos.
They married in 1992 and built a life around the storm. She raised their kids while Zakk raised hell on tour. And while he became the face of Black Label Society and the muscle behind Ozzy's riffs, she quietly held the empire together from behind the scenes.
💔 In 2009, Zakk collapsed after a gig. Doctors found life-threatening blood clots in his legs and lungs. If not for Barbaranne’s insistence that he get checked, he might not have survived. That health scare changed everything. Zakk got sober. He swapped the whiskey for workouts, the chaos for clarity.
But he never lost the fire.
🖤 Even now, as he tears across stages with his bullseye guitar, he talks openly about his love for Barbaranne. She’s his manager, his protector, his co-pilot in a world that eats rock stars alive.
Zakk Wylde may look like a Norse warrior on stage — but it's love, loyalty, and survival that built the legend. And in a world that chews up guitar heroes, Barbaranne Wylde is proof that sometimes the fiercest power in a metal saga... is the woman behind the curtain.
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@DeWayfarer I know who brought up toxicity in the first place. But toxic masculinity, as opposed to non-toxic masculinity, manifests as all of the worst aspects traditionally associated with men. It's an agreed upon set of traits.
@DeWayfarer Fine. Keep defending men who suppress their emotions, demand to be dominant in all situations, discriminate against the LGBTQ+, absolutely refuse to get help when they need it, and are hyper aggressive and misogynistic.
Because that is the agreed-upon definition in the psychological profession of toxic masculinity. But I suppose you know more than a psychologist.
@DeWayfarer Okay. Maybe I misspoke. But come on. Surely, you're a smart enough person (because I know you're smart, I've seen evidence) to understand what we mean by toxic masculinity. Right? You agree that all those traits I just described are bad, correct? There's no ambiguity there?
And yes, I'm sure you're going to argue (correctly) that those traits are also found in some women, and probably even some non-binary people. No argument there. But that specific set of traits, as I laid them out, is what some toxic people think defines a "real man", and a lot of guys go out of their way to embody those traits. That is what we call toxic masculinity. Okay?
@DeWayfarer See, you say you aren't defending toxic masculinity, but here we are. I just defined a set of traits which psychology defines as toxic, and asked if you agree that they are negative traits.
