Someone is trying to cook you

Fittingly enough, it turns out the term "catfish" is itself a catfish: It's completely fictious, made up and never meant anything. http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/01/18/catfish_meaning_and_definition_term_for_online_hoaxes_has_a_surprisingly.html On the other hand, it carries the connotation of cold and slimy, and the implication of luring as in fishing, so it's stuck.

The term itself turns out problematic, since as originally intended it simply meant being fake or deceptive, behavior that's been going on ages over, but just in online context. When a person hooks up for the purpose of sex but implies it's more, or turns out they are married but hid the ring, they're scum... unless it's online, in that case they're a catfish. Moreover, and ethically worrisomely, it seems to be taking over the place of slut-shaming in online discourse; if the relationship didn't work out for any reason, well obviously it's because they were a catfish.

I think the term should be applied only to situations that are proven, and nearly unique to the online realm, such as using a fake picture to claim to be another gender etc. but that seems a lost fight. The immediate practical problem is that if being a catfish is any kind of deception over their persona, availability or intentions, then it's what's been going on in the "real life" since forever, and some people don't learn the truth until after several years of marriage, if even then.

If we're talking about the behavior facilitated easier by Internet (Pen-pals and foreign students, world travelers etc. have fallen with and in love world over), then the always connected nature of Internet makes it slightly easier. Of course, you get some dumb conflicting advice; for example Dr. Phil (the charlatan :p) says if they don't immediately upon meeting send you a picture of themselves, they're clearly a catfish. Likewise, if they don't have an extremely popular Facebook profile with hundreds of friends, they can only be a catfish. I would personally turn these advice on their head, but regardless, they're both pretty bad indicators whichever way you go.

However, there's some indications that are probably good. First one is if they're sharing seemingly almost everything else with you, but for some strange reason refuse to let you hear or see them live, that's a big red flag that everything isn't as they say. Don't get me wrong; everybody's at least a little self-conscious, and everybody should be concerned over their privacy. But if you've shared the requisite pictures, are sharing embarrassing secrets and planning the future, then it becomes an odd thing.

Another is if they're chronically incapable of keeping promises. There comes a situation all of us have to break a promise we've made to someone that matters to us, but normal people will usually explain and ask for permission, and apologize properly at the earliest possible opportunity - or at least they should. If they act like breaking a promise is no big deal, or you're making things up, you may not even be dealing with a catfish, but you're in for a world of hurt anyway.

The 'motivational' quotes like "When you're important to someone, they will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises." are kind of dumb in their absolute certainty, and in that people always see it in others but not themselves. However, there's more than a kernel of truth to that. If communication ONLY happens on their terms say on a text-only site with many people, or you need to always be there when they need you, but even when they promise to be there for you, or to do something, something else always comes up and they may not even let you know, let alone apologize... well, you're NOT on their mind, someone else (or several someone's) are.

Whee for long writeups...

I dont care. Im not here to build a life with anyone. Maybe thats harsh but oh well.

If they are unwilling or put up an argument when you want to see a pic. Also reverse search everything.
But even the good ones can have a buddy posing for them that's happened to me. I just say be vigilant in noticing any discrepancies in their story. For instance I had one chick who said she was 35 but at one point talked about how she wished pinball would make a comeback. Childhood memories of hers watching people play. Well that's impossible if she was 35. She ended up being 55.
Just don't think emotionally and see with logic. It will come out eventually.

If the details mirror you too much, or they seem to use information from getting to know you to pull into a closer bond too quickly, be wary. Pictures are not always easy to search, I agree, unless you do as some ask and have them take a picture with something unique and obscure, not something that could be found, or meet via Skype, etc. before getting too involved emotionally.

It's my sixth sense.

I had someone take a picture with a pan once

I can't tell you. I just feel it.
Obviously there are ways to test that theory, like if you ask them to prove themselves and they hesitate or make excuses. Blah blah.
I usually don't bother making people prove themselves though.

See if their stories make sense. If they send a photo, click it and search google for image to see if it's genuine. That kinda thing.

meet them in person, before you "fall in love" with them.

I just assume they are all fishing and I don't put out my hook

Hot chick with a REALLLLLY great personality is flirting with you hardcore.

Easy I'm worlds best cuddle fish I can smell da betch

Generally there is a different style for men and women and it is fairly easy to see. Honestly the first three easiest ways are a reverse lookup of their picture on google, to check out their profile and see if they have anything more meaningful or substantive, and check out their groups (if they are all sexual you can bet it is a catfish).

Well I would start by not believing anyone you can't see.

Who even named it that

It took me a little time to figure it out but the "man pretending to be a woman" used common phrases that I knew to be his, as well as other identifying factors that revealed as well. When confronting the woman I was immediately blocked. While I can't 100% prove it, my gut tells me that was the case.

I'm true to people and ready to video with those I know, or like. Those who I don't know I wait before making any kind of assumption. A quick call on skype or kik would do the job. Also, I'm not looking for any kinda deep involvement with anyone.

Call Dave.

Always assume.

Why is it called catfishing??

Trust your intuition but really you won't until you actually see them face to face...

cyber-sleuthing

😈When you feel the that big fat catfish cock right up your ass!....Then it's time to KILL!!!!

What if the catfish doesn't want anything?

Still a fish?

If they won't send you pics or if they can only talk to you during specific times