What do you do when you tell people your not joining Xmas this year but they still book you a restaurant table for Xmas day?

There would be guilt for many different reasons other than money. It's my grand mother who set the tables. Shes coming late 90's so i dunno how many more Xmas's she will be around. But at the same time i'm also a full time carer / Parent figure to someone who cannot eat orally. has to be fed by a feeding tube. so at same time i cant really take her out there with us while we all eat and she being unable to do the same. id feel guilt there as well. its a tough one to figure out.. i'm not good with these situations at all

@madscottish: Me neither, two years ago tomorrow my gran died, she brought me up, I loved her more than any human, even though she had dementia she was calling for me in the days leading up to her dying, I couldn't go because of responsibility's at home, kills me every day but wouldn't make a different decision even now. You're not leaving one person alone if you don't go, but if you go you might, that's all I've got sorry